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You know what's great to learn at 38, right before bedtime one night, after a whole life time of struggle...
That your mother traumatized you with ADHD to the point where actually pushing myself against ADHD is a trigger... making it so no amount of coping skills can help me push myself for any real length of time...
I'd try and do something that requires a push, even a little one... and be crying... and I thought it was just the feeling of hitting my dopamine... but nooooo... now I'm unpacking that it was me getting triggered at the feeling of pushing my reserves at all...
That explains so damn much and makes me feel so damn hurt and angry...
I was forced to push myself so far so often as a kid and she didn't ever relent when I was critically over-extended on dopamine... usually around cleaning. I'm remembering so many times crying and sobbing on the floor because she demanded I clean to an extreme standard and I wasn't allowed to do anything else until I met her approval...
And I've been running my whole life fucking kneecapped by this... I thought I just had it worse than most (with ADHD) on my ability to push myself on tasks... but no... it's because I realize now I can't fucking push myself at all because my fucking brain just jumps straight to that extreme pain and trauma right away...
Now I'm fucking crying when I should be trying to sleep...
#ADHD #Neurodivergent #Trauma
@adhd group @actuallyadhd group
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oh shit I'm so sorry that happened to you.
I hope you find a way to get through it.
if you like to be hugged, here's one
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i spent a sizeable portion of my childhood shut in my room with "you're not coming out until it's clean!" And without guidance on how to clean it.
I push through hard things like this as an adult with the mantra "something is better than nothing" and just chip away at things.
And I sit with my kids when cleaning their room, talk through my process and coach them. That's been really healing, coaching my kids and also my ADHD friends; it's like re-parenting myself!
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Fiction idea: Vampires only get weird and spooky if they drink human blood.
In reality, it's commonly accepted that if you eat something similar to yourself, you'll develop diseases (this is a vast oversimplification of kuru and mad cow disease). I propose it's the same for vampires, but since they're relatively immortal, they don't die from it, they just get aggressive, creepy, and obsessive. If they didn't drink human blood, and instead went for animal blood or coconut water, they'd be totally normal.
Bonus points if this work of fiction draws parallels to colonialist mindsets of cleaner societies being "primitive".
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@Princeoflonelymt @emilie_stims ie one of the most promising obvious areas of research is stem cells just creating blood, or other cloning adjacent research with all of todays arguments...
Also the "vampires are always evil" crowd, who will send hunters after the ones researching (killing the ones specifically wanting to find a way to not harm you)
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Mozilla announces on-device (as in not using the cloud) AI image recognition to generate alt text for users who need screen readers...
And people are flipping out over AI still in the comments
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Am I the only one wondering why he didn't ALSO complain about Apple deleting the headphone port and requiring manufacturers to use an expensive, due to Apple's licensing requirements, and incompatible solution?
In my mind the problem lies with Apple. Not with the people figuring out workarounds for Apple breaking their existing wired headphone business.
They aren't paying for the audio port license and chip. (Yeah, it requires a special chip to decode the audio.) Turns out a Bluetooth chip is cheaper.
ETA: I misspoke. The chip is to authenticate the adapter. But the power lines are always up even if you don't authenticate.
Related: See European Commission proposed laws to require all electronic devices to support USB-C – this anti-competitive move by Apple is one of the reasons.
Nope, related. As I understand it one of the problems they cited was Apple's licensing for Lightning cables.
ETA: I could be wrong. Often am. I'm going by a half-remembered article I read last Fall.
Note that the alt text has one passage repeated twice, and hence is missing some content. Quote:
"
I return it all, run to catch my plane, and spend half the flight wondering what planet I'm on. Until finally back home, I do some research and figure out what's going on:
A scourge of cheap "lightning" headphones and lightning accessories is flooding certain markets, unleashed by unscrupulous Chinese manufacturers who have discovered an unholy recipe:
True Apple lightning devices are more expensive to make. So instead of conforming to the Apple standard, these companies have made headphones that receive audio via bluetooth — avoiding the Apple specification — while powering the bluetooth chip via a wired cable, thereby avoiding any need for a battery.
They have even made lightning adapters using the same recipe: plug-in power a fake lightning dongle that uses bluetooth to transmit the audio signal literally 1.5 inches from the phone to the other end of the adapter.
In these remote markets, these manufacturers have no qualms with slapping a Lightning / iPhone logo on the box while never mentioning bluetooth, knowing that Apple will never do anything.
" @cachondo
After one of the owners died, work has been struggling with not having admin access to some of our systems, namely Google Workspace.
We finally got that access... so now I've sent the email to my boss about my name change. I verified with my boss a month or two ago that he's not going to fire me for being trans (it's actually a cute story...), that way I could safely start the legal name change process... but I've been holding off on otherwise being "out" at work because of this account thing...
So finally sent an email to my boss about the new name... it's the last place where I wasn't out!
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I made something to scratch an itch that's been bugging me for years... will save me a lot of time and trouble on some of my work (and possibly personal) projects...
In other words, I made something: pypi.org/project/pyasdb/
(For anyone wondering my current use case, I have a tool I wrote for work that's sitting on top of peewee and sqlite and it's been a massive pain to expand it out... this isn't something super special, but for the 20k-40k or so entries this should do just fine searching/querying/etc, even before adding indexing... and it'll make rebuilding my toolkit faster as well as easier to maintain since there's no firm structure to the resulting database)
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Want to learn real quick that "leftist" does not automatically mean "good person" or "free from bigotry"?
Call them out on body shaming or misgendering monsters.
It's also a painful reminder that so much "acceptance" is just performative.
If you think I'm valid for being fat, but then insult a monster for being fat, it tells me that you never actually saw me as valid.
If you think my gender transition is valid, but then purposefully misgender an awful trans person, it tells me that you never saw my transition as valid.
Because if these things are true and valid, then being an awful person wouldn't matter!
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Nobody asked for this, but I just signed up for insurance with State Farm and I already have some strong thoughts and feelings about their app design.
This is an impromptu design critique because I cannot turn this part of my brain off. This is a curse.
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@2happy1sad I figured this was interesting enough to poll opinions on separately. Link if you wanna follow along on the discussion: hachyderm.io/@samhenrigold/112…
It really sounds like everyone else is butt-hurt that they didn't think of having a life outside of work first. These bullshit articles and their enablers on LInkedIn are the problem.
cnbc.com/2024/05/21/millennial…
Millennials are 'quiet vacationing' rather than asking their boss for PTO: 'There's a giant workaround culture'
Younger workers are more likely to say they get nervous when asking for time off, and they're leaving PTO on the table.Jennifer Liu (CNBC)
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!Friendica Admins I've got a persistent issue lingering from messier storage transfers that had to be done when I moved. I just wasn't able to fit the media storage on the current semi-temporary box but not everything would transfer into S3 so I was forced to just delete the media folder without being fully transferred.
Since then a lot of images (typically profile pictures or older posts) are blurry and it seems clear the server isn't trying to re-download anything lost.
I'm needing a way to sort of kick it to get it to redownload those lost images?
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@mawhrin well we can still do some comparisons, but one neuron does not equate to one parameter. if you want a meaningful analogy, then you have to compare the number of parameters to the number of connections between neurons.
of course we can't really quantify cognition, so comparing things based on that is always just how one feels about that. I mean, technically, I might be the only conscious person in the universe, I have no way checking if anyone else has. 😂
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<Insert Profanities>
So the temporary system had some sort of failure, I'm not even 100% sure what caused it to be honest. It went down sometime yesterday and some of the virtual drives got corrupted, which caught the database and the virtual gateway device.
I was able to restore the system... most of the way. Thankfully there are backups of the database, but some of them were also flawed as well, the most recent intact one was from 5/16, so 5 days were lost.
To be clear, this problem was exacerbated by the fact that there's not as much redundancy in the temporary setup (sadly it looks like it'll be a few more months before I have a place of my own and can spin up my own hardware again). But I'm going to still look at how I might get those in better shape.
As far as how long it took: I had a busy day yesterday and didn't see that the server was down until I was too exhausted to do anything about it, so it had to wait until I got off work today... each attempt at restoring the database takes around an hour, so that took *a while* to get restored.
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... ugh...
youtu.be/DlFkfOqtgR8?si=2e-AF2…
#ADHD #neurodivegent @actuallyadhd group @adhd group
What Don't You Understand? - A Short Film about ADHD
ADHD is a very complicated thing, and it is very hard to explain, especially to those without it. This film takes you through common experiences that come wi...YouTube
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The price of love is pain*...
What do you do when your capacity for pain is getting used up faster than your capacity for love?
(* for those unfamiliar with the saying: loving someone inevitably means pain at their loss, pain at their suffering, and general vulnerability. In my case, mostly loved ones struggling and being traumatized by various systemic injustices...)
The raw surrealness that hits you from time to time when transitioning...
I thought I was a guy... now I'm thinking of myself as a woman.
I used to look in the mirror and always feel blah, and unmemorable unattractive face... now I see a face I genuinely recognize and remember, a face that I can feel attractive wearing (even if I'm not my own type and will never really see it myself)
My hair which was always just an uninteresting mess... turns out it likes to naturally grow into a cute bob (though I'd still like to try styling it more).
Oh... and boobs, just boobs.
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I have seen a lot of people use anime gao kigurumi as a mental help and encouragement with transitioning, just because the hadatai covers imperfections up, and with shapewear, people see what they would like to have.
It is a tough road.
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Bigot logic:
79% of violent crimes committed by men = NOT ALL MEN ARE VIOLENT
0% of violent crimes committed by transgender women = ALL TRANSGENDER WOMEN ARE VIOLENT
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It's not actually 0%, but close enough.
Then again they never let hypocrisy get in the way of their CIS white snowflake agenda.
the 'not all men' BS that men use to justify, well, everything is a logical fallacy
we need to start teaching logic in elementary school
check out "no true scotsman" appeal to purity
Rant about AI:
Sadly there's no reasonable way to differentiate AI content from "real" content. And regardless of your opinions on AI there's no "stopping" it (it's a "cat's out of the bag" situation, you can run these things on your home computer with open source software... there's no way short of an apocalypse to stop development from here).
What we do have is a lot of fighting and little effort to work on solutions of living with this. And I think worse yet many taking the anti-AI stance, especially the loudest of them, are basically making things worse because real solutions are anathema to them (ie. anything short of an outright ban on the technology is unacceptable, which means they tend to push back against even efforts to rein in AI or talk over those who want to push those efforts).
On top of that you have the borderline predatory push of "AI Detection Tools" and "AI Poisoning". The detection tools are a question of "How many real lives are you okay with ruining to catch a handful of bad uses cases in AI because there is zero way to have any certainty on the accuracy of these tools?" while poisoning tools are a security blanket that leads to people dropping their defenses because they don't stop AI, just slightly delay it's access to your content (even the creators of those tools acknowledge that AI will quickly bypass them, at which point there's no difference in whether or not you used that tool), worse yet as AI gets further incorporated in search tools it can make it harder to get visibility and exposure over AI generated content.
What we really need to be focusing on to address the problems with AI:
- Learning how copyright works (in my experience artists tend to have a woefully bad understanding of what is or isn't covered) and making sure corporations don't lobby the government into allowing copyright on AI works (under current law they are public domain, aka. no copyright, but there's already been one case of pushing that they can copyright "arrangements" of AI works). This means if they want to actually have a copyright on art, they've got to pay a human artist
- We need to push for reporting requirements/standards. One of the most toxic elements is how much AI floods spaces and bumps out human artists, especially when they attack the prompt containing the artist's name (meaning searching for that artist can turn up more AI work than their actual work)... there needs to be a requirement that AI art be labeled. This also works with the previous point as it is similar to being able to search for something released Creative Commons.
- Push for copyright responsibility in outputs rather than training data inputs. This sounds like something that is already one of the loudest arguments, but really isn't. Most arguments I hear try to go after AI tools for copyright content in their training data... but if you actually learn copyright you realize that a victory here largely means that major companies get more of an advantage because copyright only applies when content is copied (ie. when the training data is made available for smaller companies to run their own) vs when content is transformed (despite popular opinion, the vast majority of AI output does not violate copyright and qualifies as a transformative work... see again learning copyright law, plus a dash of learning how these tools actually work). Responsibility in outputs means that an AI can violate copyright (if I ask an AI tool to give me the first chapter of a copyrighted book and it does so... that is a violation and they need to genuinely be responsible for taking measures to prevent this from happening, but there should also be leeway for "forced violations", ie. when you bend over backwards to make it break copyright vs just saying "give me the first chapter of...")
- Work on learning and developing responsible usage. Again despite popular artist opinion, there genuinely is a lot of responsible use cases for all these AI technologies, from using LLMs to help debug code, summarize text, prioritize lists to voice duplicators used, with the license of the original VA, being used for dynamic speech (ie. voice assistants or actually speaking a player's name in a video game in the middle of otherwise pre-recorded output). And that's not to ignore image generators which can be used for enhancing/repairing old photos, or just used for general visual effects on your own art (ie. the filters everyone uses on instagram or the like... much of them are the exact same tech as AI Image Generators)
- And as always... fighting capitalism because the real threat of AI is the same as any other technology advancement: if CEOs can replace you with a machine, they will, and we live in a society where no employment means risk of death.
#AI #ResponsibleAI #Rant
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Also, prevent those sick people from being signed off work because being too sick to work is "a lifestyle choice".
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-688…
Rishi Sunak sets out plans to tackle 'sick note culture'
The PM wants to strip GPs of power to issue sick notes but Labour says he has run out of ideas.By James Gregory & Jennifer McKiernan (BBC News)
Chicken Lore
OK so. You know those high school house parties you see in movies, where the person invites only a few friends, but those friends call their friends, and those friends call THEIR friends and soon like...gallusrostromegalus (Tumblr)
youtube.com/shorts/kenDWpNu6Go…
Brennan just learned the word "Deltohedron"
If you need to distract Brennan, talk to him about dice names #shorts #dimension20 #fantasyhighFor select free seasons of Dimension 20, clips, and more, visi...YouTube
Are you #ActuallyAutistic? You may find this satire website incredibly funny. I know I did.
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anguinea
in reply to creohn 💥 • • •