I hate spamming this out, but it's the only way this works, especially on AP-Fedi.
Gist is I need to get out of the state for my safety, and that's easier said than done with my disabilities, debts, and other limits.
My lease is up in mid-October, I really want to be able to just go straight from here to Washington State and even 2/3rds of this goal will make that happen... but the clock's ticking.
All the constant of self absorbed people who are convinced that the ideal network is one hostile to regular people and considers bullshit ideological purity a higher priority than actual connection or accessibility...
I'm seriously considering just shutting down this server and moving to Bluesky proper because apparently a massive corporate network has a lower self-absorbed douche quotient than here...
I desperately don't want to be stuck on another fucking corp network destined for enshittification... but why fucking bother when every single effort to make AP fedi more accessible is met by mass hostility of people who are terrified that it'll become less of a social clique catering to their egos...
Seriously, AP-Fedi is democratically self-enshittifying...
@Cory Doctorow honestly, just curious what your thoughts are... I know you favor AP and pretty much for all the same reasons I do... but what about things like the hostility to any large entity connection, any large migration of users, bridges, and basically any effort to open up things so people can experience less friction in their connections when they join (ie. being able to just choose AP-Fedi platform over a place like Bluesky and not having to split their friendgroup because they picked one or the other...)
Like I feel like features are enshittified here by users who believe that the fediverse must conform to their ideals, that all new users even on servers other than theirs must bend to their expectations. Hell, the fact that there are many who will literally tell you they're actively against the network growing and they work hard to sabotage anything that contributes toward growth...
I know it's not quite the right usage of the word, but frankly it feels like a worse version than the corporate bullshit... fucking me over for profit honestly starts to feel better than fucking me over because of a demand for social control and ideological purity...
@pluralistic I don't think you can create a place according to your ideology of carte blanche openness without implying an equal amount of hostility. I'll take the fedi brand of hostility any day. People having great ideologies is attractive to me. Expecting everyone to love me is delusional IMO.
@rood @Cory Doctorow I don't expect people to love me, and it's not carte blanche... it's just an overwhelming amount of mass hostility to regular people being able to join.
Like the Bluesky bridge is the biggest example to me, the guy got dogpiled hard when he started talking about it even though he was building it using the same methodology of all other bridges pretty much as long as there have been bridges. He was outright bullied into making the bridge drastically worse by making it opt-in only... and all those people who dogpiled him? all those servers blocked it anyways because they weren't going to be happy either way... so the bridge became drastically worse for the people who wanted to use it and the people were upset weren't affected either way.
And their primary complaint the whole time? Their privacy... of their public fucking posts on a federated network. It's like putting a sign in your yard and getting pissed that someone driving by could see it.
So for me it's like pulling teeth to connect with my friends and family who went with Bluesky because of a bunch of jackasses who were never going to be affected by the whole situation anyway. And people I try to convince to join the fediverse? Bridge is basically useless as an accessibility tool... they go to Bluesky because that's where other people went and the bridge is a useless argument.
There's having differences of opinion, and then there's mass open hostility.
@Cory Doctorow @roodall I want is to just be able to not be fucking isolated from my friends and family and at the same time not be under the thumb of a major corporation.
I FUCKING HATE FACEBOOK AND ALL THE CORPORATE NETWORKS but they're infinitely more worthwhile because THAT'S WHERE PEOPLE ARE.
And any effort to get people out is met with open and broad hostility like the fucking fedipact bullshit.
@Cory Doctorow @rood also ftr, this is brought on by someone judging people still on facebook as supporting fascism... someone I know is one of those server ops blocking bridges and thus making it harder for people to leave fucking facebook...
I think it's fair to have strong ideas about design, and also to have aesthetic preferences for certain affordances, but the problem comes when people mistake these consumption choices for being matters of ideological significance.
It's the neoliberal fetish for personal politics, curdling in on itself:
*All those people having fun on Bsky are making bad consumption choices, and moreover, making good consumption choices requires them to have the same aesthetics as me. I may be a humanist, but people who make bad consumption choices due to their poor aesthetics are sabotaging our only hope of making things better (because things only get better as the result of aggregated individual consumption choices, not because of regulation or policy or power or politics) so they are the enemy.*
I think the answer to Bluesky being a fun place at risk of corporate sabotage is to remove that risk (by making Bluesky federation and bridging real), not by convincing people that they don't really like Bluesky and they should use the Fediverse instead.
@Cory Doctorow thank you so very much for replying, I really look up to you and your voice on topics, plus I know alot of people on the fediverse respect you... so it's really affirming while I'm in a mini-meltdown over the whole situation.
It's been really really hard lately being a disabled trans-woman in Texas whose disabilities keep her very socially isolated. And it's so painful and hard to push for better and seeing people rally behind "You're a fascist if you don't cut off your friends and family and everything that gives you a reason to live"... like I run my own server here because I believe in it that much...
So thank you very much for making me feel a little less alone.
PS: with the way things are these days, with all the fascism and likely holocaust 2 I'm constantly recommending Little Brother as an accessible introduction to secure connection and opsec.
So last night, for the first time, I've heard the label Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM), and through it also found Overgeneral Autobiographical Memory (OGM)... both of which are labels for something that's distressed me for a long time...
While it doesn't make it any less distressing, it does make it easier to communicate, find other people with similar experiences, and just generally make it less a vague thing I'm dealing with.
In my own words: I don't really feel like I keep my life... I struggle with individual memories, and where I do remember things it's vague and more a third person academic understanding that it happened. I don't relive those moments when I think about them, I just kinda know they happened.
It feels like every day is page one of the story and my whole life prior is exposition rather than something I was really there for...
Definitions as I understand them: SDAM - Memories are impersonal and without detail, described in some places as "third person perspective". This means you can remember an event happens, but when remembering you can't see much detail and can't relive feelings.
OGM - Instead of recalling specific events, it means you mostly only recall general memories like repeated events or things that span over extended periods. ie. with someone you talk to often being able to remember "how the conversations go" but you struggle to communicate specifics about any one conversation.
This is the first I hear of OGM.... and it might actually help explain the other side of my memory... I thought those 2 things would be the same but it's good to know they're not...
@Gwen, the Fops yeah, made last night into a double oof for me. At first I thought they were maybe different terms for the same thing but dug a little deeper and it's two completely different things that together basically leave you one step away from amnesia 😅
Cette maxime est difficile à retracer, car elle peut s'exprimer de multiples façons. La première correspondance connue apparaît dans une lettre de 1874 du poète et romancier allemand Berthold Auerbach, qui attribua cette maxime à l'homme politique allemand Heinrich Simon.
«Il n'y a pas de mauvais temps, il n'y a que de bons vêtements», disait le grand esprit Heinrich Simon, noyé dans le lac Wallensee, dans son proverbe, et cela s'applique aussi à moi.
I have a task reminder on my phone for showers because I don't really feel it until it gets grimy (and my sense of smell is kinda broken). Plus I had to dish out a subscription to one because it's the rare task app that does relative deadlines (ie. instead of every 3 days for a task, it's 3 days since the task was last completed), because time blindness and memory issues means if I miss a reminder I can convince myself I just did it yesterday when it was actually a week ago. But a reminder where I actually did it yesterday just leads to me ignoring the reminder. On top of all that is the executive dysfunction where I can get distracted and just not do things until I don't have the spoons to do them.
State of my apartment is painfully shameful and is a reflection of my stress and depression... I simply don't have the spoons to keep up with all but the most critical of cleaning. It's a lot of executive function spoons to start cleaning in the first place, let alone juggle the array of things to clean. That's before even getting to the physical exhaustion and pain of standing and bending all coming from my physical disability.
... If you've visited me in my home, know that I'm ashamed and just swallowing it because the isolation is worse than the shame.
La première occurrence trouvée pour ce "proverbe" date de 2011. A l'époque, il était décrit comme un proverbe chinois. Cependant, il est inconnu en Chine. Il ne s'agit pas non plus d'un proverbe amérindien. Il s'agit d'une citation anonyme.
Ce "proverbe" est apparu en France, un peu avant les années 1970, sur une affiche de l'École des études orientales de Paris. Il a ensuite été repris dans le monde anglo-saxon. Il est une déformation d'une parole attribuée à Bouddha dans le Shurangama Sutra, volume 2.
Extrait du Shurangama Sutra, volume 2:
Le Bouddha dit à Anand : «Tu écoutes encore le Dharma avec un esprit conditionné, et ainsi le Dharma est lui aussi conditionné, et tu n'obtiens pas la nature du Dharma. C'est comme quand quelqu'un pointe la lune du doigt pour la montrer à quelqu'un d'autre. Guidé par le doigt, cette personne devrait voir la lune. S'il regarde le doigt et le confond avec la lune, il perd non seulement la lune, mais aussi le doigt. Pourquoi ? Parce qu'il confond le doigt pointé avec la lune brillante.»
... I've got to love that I occasionally find myself in deeply technical discussions with people who probably make 2-4 times as much as I do doing just these things...
And here I am struggling because...
... it's a rare workplace I don't have a personality clash with, regardless of how hard I try to mask...
... I have no capacity for marketing and too much anxiety for the inconsistencies of contract work...
... and too much workplace instability trauma to move from my current job unless forced...
I wish UBI was a thing so I could just dive in to open source projects and not spend most of my time either working or recovering from work...
I've come to accept I'm a good, if unpolished, programmer. (Not that I have the confidence to feel like I'm good) I really only program in python now, but I used to routinely learn new programming languages.
I've come to accept I'm a really good linux admin.
... and I work in billing for a barely afloat trucking brokerage making $22/hour.
Cette citation n'est pas de Confucius, mais de Louis-Ferdinand Céline extraite de l'entretien qu'il a eu avec Jacques Darribehaude en 1960.
Extrait:
J. D. - Avant la sortie du livre? C. - Oui, juste. Oh, il aurait pas aimé... Il était jaloux, en plus... il ne me voyait pas du tout écrivain, et moi non plus d'ailleurs, on était d'accord au moins sur un point... J. D. - Et votre mère, elle, comment a-t-elle réagi devant vos livres ? C. - Elle a trouvé ça dangereux et méchant et que ça faisait des histoires... elle voyait que ça allait se terminer très mal. Elle avait l'esprit très prudent. J. D. - Elle lisait vos livres ? C. - Oh, elle ne pouvait pas, c'était pas à sa portée, ça lui aurait paru grossier, puis elle lisait pas de livres, c'était pas une femme à lire des livres. Non. Elle avait aucune vanité. Elle a continué de travailler jusqu'à sa mort. J'étais en prison, j'ai appris sa mort... Non, j'arrivais à Copenhague, quand j'ai appris sa mort... Un voyage abominable, ignoble, oui, l'orchestration parfaite. Abominable... Mais il n'y a d'abominable que les choses d'un côté, n'oubliez pas, hein... Ben, vous savez... l'expérience est une lanterne sourde qui n'éclaire que celui qui la porte... et incommunicable... faut garder ça pour moi... Pour moi, on était autorisé à mourir, on entrait quand on avait une bonne histoire, à raconter. Alors on la donnait, et puis on passait. Mort à crédit, c'est symboliquement ça. La récompense de la vie étant la mort... vu que... c'est pas le bon Dieu qui gouverne, c'est le diable... L'homme... la nature est dégueulasse, quoi, il n'y a qu'à voir, la vie des oiseaux, des bêtes.
Ce "proverbe" vient du roman «Trois Frères» (三兄弟) publié en 1984 par l'écrivain Shu Yuanjun (舒源骏, né en 1945):
«穿鞋的不知光脚的苦，你当我愿走?我是要脸的，我不能叫人指着脊梁骂我是个叛国犯。»
«Ceux qui portent des chaussures ne connaissent pas la douleur d'être pieds nus. Crois-tu que je veuille partir? Je dois préserver ma dignité. Je ne peux pas laisser les gens me montrer du doigt et me traiter de traître.»
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When it's really bad... depression feels a lot like freezing to death...
Things becoming more and more sluggish, slowly shutting down... you start losing feeling in the outer edges of yourself.
Even if you're not suicidal... it still feels like it'll eventually kill you, like one day you'll lose everything you are and just become an empty husk...
Even the incredible love of my family feels like curling myself around a small candle for warmth at times...
And when it gets really bad... you're faced with the overwhelming urge to just lay down and fall asleep, regardless of the consequences.
I know I'll make it through the other side... but sometimes I wonder how many (metaphorical) fingers or toes I'll lose before I get there...
"Jonah Hex" (2010) is a lackluster superhero film that tries to blend Western and supernatural elements but ends up feeling disjointed and underwhelming. Despite a gritty premise and some stylized action, the film's weak plot, uneven tone, and poor CGI hinder its impact, making it a forgettable entry in the genre. Mediocre superhero Western with potential that falls flat. For More Review Of This Movie Visit My Blog...
Access to Work: cuts to support putting employment out of reach – Channel 4 News
So disabled benefits that help disabled people to work (PIP) is getting cut to force disabled into work AND support in work to enable them to work is being cut. Make it make sense. channel4.com/news/access-to-wo…
Creepy and unsettling horror with a memorable premise—"Smile" (2022) delivers chilling scares and tense atmosphere. For More Review Of This Movie Visit My Blog...
"Back in Action" is a generic action-comedy that largely wastes its talented cast, delivering predictable jokes and uninspired action sequences, though some find it a fun, light watch. For More Review Of This Movie Visit My Blog...
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Edit: because it seems like people are confused, I'm not asking for clarity in how to talk about these things. Just commenting on how much of our language is dominated by allistic norms and an amusing joking idea. I have no interest in "here's how to make it clear you're asking someone on a date" and any comments in that vein will just contribute to a now forming headache...
Random half-joking idea with my sibling when talking about how dumb the differences are between hangout and date are (pretty much arbitrary definitions).
Idea crossed my mind of, we need an explicitly autistic language. Y'know, one where intents are part of the conjugation.
Shiri Bailem
in reply to Shiri Bailem • •@Cory Doctorow honestly, just curious what your thoughts are... I know you favor AP and pretty much for all the same reasons I do... but what about things like the hostility to any large entity connection, any large migration of users, bridges, and basically any effort to open up things so people can experience less friction in their connections when they join (ie. being able to just choose AP-Fedi platform over a place like Bluesky and not having to split their friendgroup because they picked one or the other...)
Like I feel like features are enshittified here by users who believe that the fediverse must conform to their ideals, that all new users even on servers other than theirs must bend to their expectations. Hell, the fact that there are many who will literally tell you they're actively against the network growing and they work hard to sabotage anything that contributes toward growth...
I know it's not quite the right usage of the word, but frankly it feels like a worse version than the corporate bullshit... fucking me over for profit honestly starts to feel better than fucking me over because of a demand for social control and ideological purity...
rood
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •Shiri Bailem
in reply to rood • •@rood @Cory Doctorow I don't expect people to love me, and it's not carte blanche... it's just an overwhelming amount of mass hostility to regular people being able to join.
Like the Bluesky bridge is the biggest example to me, the guy got dogpiled hard when he started talking about it even though he was building it using the same methodology of all other bridges pretty much as long as there have been bridges. He was outright bullied into making the bridge drastically worse by making it opt-in only... and all those people who dogpiled him? all those servers blocked it anyways because they weren't going to be happy either way... so the bridge became drastically worse for the people who wanted to use it and the people were upset weren't affected either way.
And their primary complaint the whole time? Their privacy... of their public fucking posts on a federated network. It's like putting a sign in your yard and getting pissed that someone driving by could see it.
So for me it's like pulling teeth to connect with my friends and family who went with Bluesky because of a bunch of jackasses who were never going to be affected by the whole situation anyway. And people I try to convince to join the fediverse? Bridge is basically useless as an accessibility tool... they go to Bluesky because that's where other people went and the bridge is a useless argument.
There's having differences of opinion, and then there's mass open hostility.
Shiri Bailem
in reply to Shiri Bailem • •@Cory Doctorow @rood all I want is to just be able to not be fucking isolated from my friends and family and at the same time not be under the thumb of a major corporation.
I FUCKING HATE FACEBOOK AND ALL THE CORPORATE NETWORKS but they're infinitely more worthwhile because THAT'S WHERE PEOPLE ARE.
And any effort to get people out is met with open and broad hostility like the fucking fedipact bullshit.
Shiri Bailem
in reply to Shiri Bailem • •Cory Doctorow
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •@rood
I think it's fair to have strong ideas about design, and also to have aesthetic preferences for certain affordances, but the problem comes when people mistake these consumption choices for being matters of ideological significance.
It's the neoliberal fetish for personal politics, curdling in on itself:
Shiri Bailem likes this.
Cory Doctorow
in reply to Cory Doctorow • • •Shiri Bailem likes this.
Cory Doctorow
in reply to Cory Doctorow • • •I think the answer to Bluesky being a fun place at risk of corporate sabotage is to remove that risk (by making Bluesky federation and bridging real), not by convincing people that they don't really like Bluesky and they should use the Fediverse instead.
More on this here:
pluralistic.net/2025/01/23/def…
Pluralistic: Defense (of the internet) (from billionaires) in depth (23 Jan 2025) – Pluralistic: Daily links from Cory Doctorow
pluralistic.netShiri Bailem likes this.
Shiri Bailem
in reply to Cory Doctorow • •@Cory Doctorow thank you so very much for replying, I really look up to you and your voice on topics, plus I know alot of people on the fediverse respect you... so it's really affirming while I'm in a mini-meltdown over the whole situation.
It's been really really hard lately being a disabled trans-woman in Texas whose disabilities keep her very socially isolated. And it's so painful and hard to push for better and seeing people rally behind "You're a fascist if you don't cut off your friends and family and everything that gives you a reason to live"... like I run my own server here because I believe in it that much...
So thank you very much for making me feel a little less alone.
PS: with the way things are these days, with all the fascism and likely holocaust 2 I'm constantly recommending Little Brother as an accessible introduction to secure connection and opsec.
Cory Doctorow
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •