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That feeling when you're depressed and hurting then you find out your family installed guardrails on your pit of despair


Random phone security 101, unlocking methods, please boost:

  • Biometrics: prevents casual unlocking by someone just picking up your phone, but otherwise no real security. A cop (or other assailant) can force you to unlock your phone easily (often even without a warrant)
  • Pin Code: Slightly more secure, prevents anyone from accessing easily without knowing the code. But anyone with access to your phone, time, and skill can get in. Can be significantly improved by turning on Keypad Scrambling and Distress Codes (most devices do not offer either feature without a Custom ROM, see below) and Lockouts (available much more often).
  • Password: your security is proportional to how much a pain in the ass it is to unlock your phone.
  • Two-Factor (Custom ROMs Only): by combining Biometrics and Pin Code you get security that rivals a secure password while still being almost as convenient as a pin code.
  • Pattern Unlock: Just don't, it's honestly probably better to use just Biometric over this

Explanations:

  • Keypad Scrambling: This feature re-arranges the keypad on your lock screen. Downside is you can't unlock from muscle memory, but upside is that no one can unlock your phone from smudge patterns.
  • Distress Code: This is a second pin code that when entered will instead erase your phone instead of unlocking it. They can't tell which is which until your phone is being erased. Also increases security on brute forcing as there's a chance they accidentally erase your phone in the process.
  • Lockout: This is where your phone prevents access after a certain number of failed login attempts. It significantly slows down brute force attacks. Phones with this feature will usually either force you to enter a more secure password after this limit is hit, but some offer the option to automatically erase your phone.
  • Custom ROMs: these are alternate systems you can install on your phone, usually variants of Android. They often offer more features and security than your phone normally has, but there are unfortunately some tradeoffs due to Google's demand for control (example is you can't use tap-to-pay with a Custom ROM)

#Security



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President Trump has called for Democrats to be executed for sedition. The voters expect Democrats to come to the table with a real counter-proposal and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise. That’s doing politics the right way. -Ezra Klein, New York TImes

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in reply to Ars Technica

HP and Dell have been competing for the bottom of the consumer computing barrel for decades. Year after year it's a game of one-upmanship to see how much more crap they can be, and this is pretty damned bad.
in reply to Ars Technica

I'm a bit unclear here. Are they selling new units with HEVC disabled or disabling HEVC on units they've already sold?

If the latter, what's the infection vector? Windows Update?



For those who might not be caught up on Last Week Tonight, or just love weird shit

Here's their auction to benefit public broadcasting:

johnoliversjunk.com

#PublicBroadcasting



Random bit of trans vocabulary as I've recently seen people rejecting a phrase because they were confused by it.

"Socialized male" and "socialized female" aren't synonyms for someone's sex, they are experiences and culturally relevant.

People are confused because the term "socialize" has multiple meanings.

One is something done by you: "I was socializing with my friends"

One is something done to you: "I was socialized as a man"

To summarize Webster respectively:

The first is "to participate actively in a social group"

The second is "to fit or train for a social environment'

We say someone is "Socialized Male" or "Socialized Female" not to indicate what their sex is, but to indicate that in their formative years they were saddled with the expectations and treatment associated with "male" or "female" in our society.

The trans women getting confused think it means something like "grew up as men" or that our social groups were men, and that's not at all it.

It means we were treated as men.

We usually grew up with more women in our social circles than men, even if we didn't know we were trans yet. We were often seen as an exception, which means even our acceptance was flavored by it.

What "socialized male" means to me is that I grew up being labeled a predator and a threat by default.

Even if I wasn't specifically raised such, I was still affected by the fact that so many men were raised to believe it was okay to lie, cheat, and manipulate to abuse women. And because of that there was literally nothing I could say or do to convey that I was being genuine because far too many were dishonest about it.

I had to build entire patterns and routines of behavior around how to behave around women to make them feel safer, almost always to my personal detriment.

I to this day am still anxious and hesitant in so many interactions because for decades of my life they were forbidden to me because they were far too likely to make someone I care about feel unsafe.

When I say I was "socialized male" it means that was something done to me. I had to figure out how to navigate life and survive while being forced into a traumatic box by society that didn't remotely fit me.

#Trans #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA

reshared this

in reply to Juniper 🏳️‍⚧️🌲 (baking?)

So overall, saying that trans women have male socialization is inaccurate and harmful. It ascribes a similarity to the experience of cis boys that does not exist, and it gives license to treat trans women as being really or essentially men. I think that what you are talking about fits better under what I understand as gender assignment rather than socialization. I think it is common to treat gender assignment as something that happens in the moment when an M or an F is recorded on our birth certificates and then is done. But really in just about every social interaction we have (there may be some spaces, particularly queer ones, where this happens less), the people around us will try to figure out what gender box we fit into. They assign us a gender. From that assignment, they will derive expectations of how we will act and how they should treat us. Because most people's gender boxes are a strict binary, many trans girls will have the experience of being assigned male across many interactions, same as cis boys. But they will often not react to this assignment in the way that cis boys do, so they will not receive the same socialization as cis boys. 2/2
in reply to Juniper 🏳️‍⚧️🌲 (baking?)

@Juniper 🏳️‍⚧️ ugh... socialization has absolutely no reference to how we respond to it.

This is an actual academic sociology/psych term and is entirely about the environment we were raised and the expectations we were raised with.

For instance, someone who grows up in a conservative household and community is socialized conservative, this is regardless of whether they ever accepted any of it.

If you're assigned male across the majority of your interactions growing up, that's what this means. It doesn't mean you are a man, it means you had to deal with the traumas of being treated as one.

And yes, this is something that's shared with cis boys, because it's not about how we responded to it.

Like I've said elsewhere, if we transition early and are accepted then we don't deal with it because we get socialization that matches our real identity.

Saying trans female socialization literally means that we were raised with the expectations that we would act and behave as other trans femmes.

I'm American, I was socialized hyper-capitalist... does that make me a capitalist? No. It means I dealt with the expectations and trauma of hyper-capitalist expectations being put on me.

What about being socialized Christian (which basically means growing up in a Christian, even non-practicing, home), does that make me not Jewish? Nope. Do I get "Christian Privilege" for it? Hell no. Does that mean people can call me Christian? Still no.

And we do end up with many of the traumas of cis boys/men, the difference is for us is that it's in stark relief as we move away from those expectations and re-socialize ourselves.

Socialization is explicitly the expectations that were put on us and not how we responded to them.

If you want to talk about socialization specifically in how we responded to it? It's failed socialization, they wanted us to be men and we rejected it, they failed. But failure doesn't mean we didn't deal with them trying, it just means it didn't take.



God, one of the most dystopian things I've ever heard... literally shit you see in Cyberpunk...


Samsung makes ads on $3,499 smart fridges official with upcoming software update
Update introduces two ways for the fridges to show ads.
arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/1…

Vanessa reshared this.



Hey, the Python Software Foundation (the people who make the Python programming language and the standard interpreter for it) just took a big hit to support those of us being targeted by hate.

If you're in a position to do so, maybe consider giving them a donation for being apparently one of the few tech organizations that have our back: psfmember.org/civicrm/contribu… (if you want to verify the link it's the donate button on python.org/)

I almost cried given how many brands and organizations turn their back on us when they're not even standing to lose money.#FOSS #LGBTQIA #TransRights #Trans


TLDR; The PSF has made the decision to put our community and our shared diversity, equity, and inclusion values ahead of seeking $1.5M in new revenue. Please read and share. pyfound.blogspot.com/2025/10/N…
🧵
python.org/sponsors/applicatio…



Dear god my life is cursed with technology right now...

Brand new bullshit issue: my android phone refuses to accept that the wifi is connected to the internet, I can open up pingtools and confirm the dns and ping work fine, even check the URLs it uses to check access and those are fine...

But it won't accept that it's connected and as such tells all the apps there's no connection... despite it being confirmed as working.

This morning I had intermittent network issues on my phone, but my laptop has been fine all day... and now my laptop is still fine but I'm getting this nonsense with my phone...

uuuuugggghhh

in reply to Shiri Bailem

I once had a router that did a horrible job of automatically managing 5ghz and 2.4ghz home Internet. The advice given was to have the router treat them as separate wifi connections.
in reply to Arcanasphere (Andrew Arcana)

@Arcanasphere (Andrew Arcana) it's openwrt, I've got a second SSID that's only 2.4ghz and it still does it on that one... no joke I can't even figure out why it's saying it's limited... I use ping tools and test everything and it's all working, but because Android throws up the flag saying there's no internet access then practically all the apps fail


Suggestion, seeing someone on youtube talk about adding an anti-ai logo on their product:

Someone needs to set up a non-profit org to just to have these logos be a reliable thing.

For those unaware, a lot of certification logos are not governmental, they're organizations licensing the logos (in many cases for free) and defending their usage via trademark law.

Basic gist of the process:
* You design a logo
* You establish the terms under which the logo can be used (ie. has a basic audit trail to prove that no AI was used)
* You trademark the logo
* You advertise the certification
* You start suing people who misuse the logo

It's not a nothing process... but it just takes time (paperwork, court cases, but also just accepting and dealing with reports) and money (money primarily for registration and legal fees)

If someone does do this, I honestly suggest multiple marks for best effect:
* No AI - everything is generated by them from scratch
* Best Faith No AI - you may have used stock images or the like and as such can't guarantee they didn't use AI
* AI assisted - as much as people complain, it helps to have because it increases adoption and recognition, basically they can prove that all important bits of the content are human created (ie. maybe they used AI for a texture or a background in images, or they wrote most of the text but used AI to fill in small portions)
* AI edited - provably human generated content, but then it was fed through AI to modify it (ie. hand drawn art cleaned up and colored, or written text that used AI literally as an editor)
* AI content, while there's all sorts of ethical debate, many who use AI do believe it should be labeled. And a recognizable label of such could help with recognition of the no AI label

And then a sort of secondary mark for those who pay this org to proactively verify the work (good way to generate funds for the lawsuits against those who falsely label)

#AI

#ai

spiegelmama reshared this.



Ugh... media server died again... at this point it's a money issue more than anything else, the hardware I have just isn't handling it. Pretty sure the drive arrays are failing, and the drives themselves aren't doing great as well...


Resharing, I've arrived I'm (kinda) set up in the apartment.

But now what's short of the goal here is going to be debt I have to pick up.

gofundme.com/f/assist-a-jewish…

#MutualAid



Whelp, server is back online with only one tiny hitch... for some reason my router (OpenWRT) isn't sharing IPv6 addresses and I've literally changed nothing in the move...

So going to have to chew on that for a while...



Heads up that this account (and whole server) is going dark for the next week.

Tomorrow morning shutting down the server for the move, will be back the 22nd or 23rd.



Sharing this story from @Cory Doctorow because it's so much of what I've been saying.

Shipping a model that runs badly – that needs more data-centers and energy to run – is a way to convince investors that it's doing something really advanced (after all, look how much compute and energy it's consuming!).

pluralistic.net/2025/10/16/pos…

Unknown parent

friendica (DFRN) - Link to source
Shiri Bailem

@Dan Shuman @Cory Doctorow The whole article points out that AI itself isn't useless, just that it's being used inefficiently.

Basically like having 20-30 people doing the job of 1 person just because it looks impressive to have that many people on the payroll.

It doesn't mean the 1 person job isn't any good, just that a lot of resources are being wasted that don't have to be.



AAAAAAAAAH!

... slightest hint of possible bad news and I fucking spiraled into a panic attack...

Nothing bad actually happened... other than the panic attack which has me completely wrecked...

Twitchy, on the edge of tears and a complete fucking nightmare storm of emotions...

😭😭😭😭😭



I swear... dealing with someone making an anti-AI rant that is so clueless and bordering on incoherent that a low power LLM could do a better job...

Really makes me lose some faith in humanity...

I really wish people had a better ability to grasp nuance instead of blunt "AI evil" or "AI good"... we're fucked.



Mutual Aid Request (no cw because apparently some systems hide hashtag posts that have cws?)

gofundme.com/f/assist-a-jewish…

I'm on the last leg of preparing, apartment is nearly finalized and booking travel arrangements.

Unfortunately that's pretty much everything that's been donated so far by itself.

I can't do a flight mostly because my cat can't safely fly, and to a lesser degree to keep at least some of my things.

My current car can't survive the trip and the option we settled on is I'm going to rent a car and my beloved sister Chelsie is going to drive me up, then take a flight back.

We've got a wonderful friend covering hotel stays, but even then a flight and a cross country car rental is over $1000 combined... that's before we even get to gas.

I also still need some more funds for gas and deposits (because of credit issues my current place took a bond instead of a deposit, so I get nothing back, I almost didn't get an apartment at all because of those issues), plus any setup fees for utilities that come up.

#MutualAid #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Trans


Shiri Bailem reshared this.


CW: mutual aid, escaping texas

An update on my request for help. It looks like the move is set, just got to get some final numbers for budgeting. At this point every little bit helps drastically in making sure I don't run face first into another roadblock.

gofundme.com/f/assist-a-jewish…

#MutualAid #Trans #LGBT #LGBTQIA #LGBTQ



When I'm past my move and once I have enough headspace to handle the frustrating conversion period... I think it's time for me to switch my phone to a secure ROM.

Things are getting bad enough that my baseline trust is quickly disappearing (baseline in the sense of "it's not in their interests to do this... yet").

I think when I have the space to handle the setup I'm going to switch my Pixel 8 over to Graphene, especially since their Google Play sandbox will allow me to continue accessing things like my banking app without giving Google total control over my phone...

in reply to Shiri Bailem

For anyone thinking the setup is not a big deal, I'm constantly on the verge of tears and/or meltdown right now with the stress of moving cross country away from the people I love for safety...

I don't think I can commit to the frustration of spending so much time re-setting up apps, little oopsies here and there where I lose and have to recreate data, adjusting workflows, etc etc...



Like TTRPGS? Like supporting people who are trying to get back on their feet? How about prestigious names who are also leftist?

Friend of mine just released the FREE quickstart for their new RPG.

Want more reason to dive in and give it a try? This is Malix Nystul... a name that might sound vaguely familiar to those who played 2nd and 3rd edition D&D as dozens of spells bore his name (before 4th genericized all of them). The Archwizard Nystul in Greyhawk is named after him.

So do my wonderful friend a solid and download this, every download helps him out even if you're not spending any money!

drivethrurpg.com/en/product/50…

Promotional flyer for *Nuked*, a post-apocalyptic tabletop RPG. The flyer is split into two halves.</p><p>**Left half (gray concrete background):**</p><p>* At the top: A yellow circle with black stripes across it. Inside, large red text reads **NUKED**. Above it, in small black text:<br>  *MUTANTS, MAGIC, MAYHEM*<br>  *FAST FURIOUS FUN*<br>* Below the logo: White text reads:<br>  *FREE INTRO*<br>  *Nuked is a post-apocalyptic tabletop role playing game of mutants, magic and mayhem in a world gone mad. The rules are easy to learn and encourage fast moving, immersive play in a setting that is equal parts intense and irreverent.*<br>* Large bold white text: **NUKED-RPG.COM**<br>* Smaller white text: *TEST DRIVE ON DRIVETHRURPG*<br>* Bottom left: A large yellow-bordered QR code with the caption *NUKED PDF*. Next to it is a smaller black-and-white QR code.</p><p>**Right half (white border with black frame):**</p><p>* Left side vertical bar: Black background with white text: *TEST DRIVE*. Red vertical text next to it: **NUKED**.<br>* Top image: Cartoon-style illustration of four post-apocalyptic adventurers (a monkey in a hat, a warrior with a spear, a survivor with a rifle, and a woman holding a wrench). Background is an orange-red explosion.<br>* Below that, separated by a yellow-and-black caution stripe:<br>  White text on a photo of a decayed industrial setting:<br>  *Everything* you need to give Nuked a try<br>  *Except for some dice*<br>  *For 3–4 players and a GM*<br>* Lower right corner: Illustration of a trench-coated figure with a wide-brim hat and a large, single, glaring eyeball for a head.<br>* Large diagonal red banner across the bottom-right corner with yellow-outlined text: **FREE**.<br>* Bottom edge text (partially visible): *A GAME OF MUTANTS, MAGIC… WORLD GONE MAD*.

@Malix

#TTRPG #DND #DungeonsAndDragons #RPGs #Tabletop

in reply to Shiri Bailem

Please boost, right now his optimistic goal is 10 downloads, which is ridiculous, we can do waaaay better than that for someone so awesome.


uspol

Basic gist: the NSA, FBI, etc are now actively targeting anyone expressing leftist sentiments or even just being pro-trans rights even if they haven't committed a crime.

It directs them to "investigate, prosecute, and disrupt", again regardless of whether we've committed a crime.

truthout.org/articles/national…

in reply to Shiri Bailem

uspol

Sensitive content

in reply to PedestrianError

uspol

@PedestrianError Jailing us isn't the only thing they can do, this is mostly going to target shutting down civil rights organizations, media organizations that share dissenting views, protest organizers.

For smaller individuals it'll be things like cutting government benefits, pressuring our employers to fire us, pressuring our landlords to evict us.

It's important that people be prepared for the outcomes of their speech so they can be strategic about it. Speak where it matters.

I'm willfully open because I'm a trans-woman, I'm high up on the list of targets to punish regardless so there's little I can do to make it worse.

And be careful with "they can't jail all of us"... the nazis already answered that problem and it's likely the US is going to do the same in the future...



To be honest, this is something I see constantly around the fediverse of people shooting themselves in the foot over high minded ideals, choosing the sacrifice the now for an ideal future that won't happen because they're sacrificing it.

Favorite example here is the people that complain about corporate networks but then get angry at and shutdown anyone trying to make it easier for people to leave those networks.



US Politics, Absurd Update

Heads up, if you live in the US and say "fascism is bad" then you're now legally a terrorist...

whitehouse.gov/fact-sheets/202…



Someone was making the "rapture pet insurance" joke (which entertainingly enough such businesses do exist and aren't scams)...

But it randomly made me think of a business idea that I think would be incredible:

Death and Incapacitance Pet Insurance

Basic gist is it's a digital dead-man's switch service, you routinely check in to establish you're still there taking care of your pet. If you stop checking in, then someone reaches out, if they can't get ahold of you they come out and take care of your pet.

One thing I've been worried about for ages is what will happen to Lizzie if something happens to me... With how isolated I am most of the time, it could easily be days or weeks before someone came around to check on her... she could easily die of starvation or dehydration before anyone even knew I was dead.

... It honestly terrifies me.

So the idea of a service with someone in the area who has a copy of my key, and if I stop responding they'll come out, make sure she has adequate food and water for a while, notify family, and eventually take her to a foster or shelter if no family can take her (it'd be truly awful, but it'd be better than her just dying slowly as no-one cares for her).

It strikes me that it would be a pretty easy business to make profitable given that it would so rarely be used. Most customers would never use it given that we typically outlive our pets.

It would just need a retainer paid out to contractors in the area to handle check ins if the automatic check in fails, then if they have to go take care of a pet they get a reasonable payout for the work involved. (If someone just uses it as a sitter for a vacation then they get a significant bill)

#Ideas #Pets



american venting about undiagnosed chronic pain and zero pain management

Being disabled without any answers, tools to management, and watching it slowly degenerate is... truly awful...

I don't talk about it much because it does little good and usually it's best to just not think about it as much as possible...

I have no diagnosis, no real clue even what is going on... but over the course of two decades my muscles have gotten stiffer and stiffer. It takes more and more effort to move every muscle in my body as time passes, and the muscles move less and less... they even stretch less and less, my range of motion is drastically reduced...

And it hurts... literally constantly all the time... every muscle is constantly strained, and my legs are the worst of the bunch, but I don't know if I can say any muscle is really excluded...

It hurts when sitting, laying down, standing... just existing hurts because there is no position that puts my muscles at rest anymore...

And it's so damn exhausting... even typing this right now I feel it in my fingers...

And I have no idea how bad it's going to get, just that it's still getting worse... I have to wonder if it'll eventually end up in paralysis... (even worse, is it affecting muscular organs like my heart and lungs?)

I've got no idea what it is, and absolutely nothing to address the pain or exhaustion...

And worse yet, pain management isn't a lack of access right now... it's a lack of anything functioning because my body doesn't really respond properly to pain medication.

I have to turn up my apartment temperature as high as I can tolerate to just loosen up my muscles a little bit, and I still have to throw an electric blanket over my legs often, regardless of my sensory issues...

... and that's not even the only thing wrong with me...



just going to say I can't believe this book has fucked me up... a trans magical girl story should not have me processing so much self-worth and self-hate trauma... this was supposed to be lighthearted comfort read dammit...

content warnings: big big trauma feels, parental emotional abuse (low detail), internalized transphobia, very mild external transphobia (one character intentionally misgenders), some suicidal ideation, and abuse of power by a mental health professional

amazon.com/gp/product/B0CTHRK6…

#LGBTQIA #LGBT #Trans #Books #Trauma



Add this to the pile of ideas I'm unlikely to ever make, not because it's super hard but just because I'm so constantly exhausted and out of spoons... steal away if you want to make it:

There's basically the "big server" problem on the fediverse, where a super large open registration server has so many people on it you don't want to block it and lose all those people... but it inherently is less effectively moderated. Or even on smaller instances there's so many cases of "this wouldn't be acceptable on my instance, but isn't bad enough to defederate a whole instance over".

It's manageable, but has limitations that get worse as the network grows. It's even one of the concerns people have with bridges and corporate platforms adding support (ie. bluesky and threads respectively).

But there's an idea in Bluesky I kinda like that feels like it could be tweaked and imported over here. Which is subscribable moderation.

I'm not proposing just subscribing to all sorts of block lists from strangers, but a way of having shared moderation that people can team up on.

Basic idea I had was an open source platform (so others can run it for both redundancy and cutting down on smaller censorship disputes). On that platform, someone can create and become the admin of a moderation group. Then they can invite other people to that group as moderators (or in the case of private groups, members).

Then basically have auditable moderation lists made by the groups (showing which moderator took which action and when... especially good for undoing things if problems arise, but also for checking the list before you import an update), then server admins and users can follow a list and subscribe/import it.

Was even thinking this could be improved with things like public reporting, where reporting it to the server would send the report to all lists that haven't already blocked them (servers could even share this between eachother easily enough). Additionally admins could piggyback their list off of others (basically lists that are less restrictive than yours, so you might pull from "We only block Nazis" because you know anyone they're blocking isn't going to be in question).

#FediMeta #Meta #Ideas #Idea #Suggestion #Suggestions #Moderation

Shannon Prickett reshared this.

in reply to Shiri Bailem

Yea, part of the AP protocol is you have to tell the server of the user you are blocking. When you unblock you have to also tell the server as well. If those messages are not processed correctly the block isn't lifted.

Now normally, you'd just manually block and unblock again to send a fresh message. But when you are dealing with lists there are UX challenges there. How do you communicate to the user that a block/unblock didn't go through and they need to retry? Or do you just keep retrying with exponential backoff? None of this is insurmountable, but distributed networks are hard 😅

in reply to ראַף 🟣

Oh and there is some disagreement over what a standards-compliant server should do about Block messages

socialhub.activitypub.rocks/t/…

in reply to ראַף 🟣

@ראַף 🟣 I honestly wasn't imagining integrating with the protocol itself at all, I was just picturing it exporting an importable block list and leaving it to the platforms to support importing it, or other tools to handle importing and applying it.
in reply to Shiri Bailem

Well right now at least on GTS and Mastodon you can import block and mute lists. But it's a one-off. There isn't what I think we both want which is a subscription to a block list where we can periodically diff against and undo/redo blocks and mutes.
in reply to ראַף 🟣

@ראַף 🟣 I definitely agree that there isn't an explicit subscription option, and that's entirely down to toolkits on the instance side imo.

I imagined manual imports, but with convenient links for those who might want to build tools to automate those imports. Maybe an option to also email updates as a way to notify, but that's kinda secondary imo.

I just pictured along the lines of:
example.com/modlists/Punch-All… for raw importable blocklist
example.com/modlists/Punch-All… for a simple history that shows the blocklist stuff, plus add/remove, who, and when.

Then others can build tools to handle much of it, (like on friendica it would take barely any effort to write such a tool for server admins).

And basically just take unix methodology for the tools that import into other instances, focus on providing the list and a separate tool can be used to automate it.



Long, Talking about the shooting, Lessons from Judaism not involving faith

Note: Also posted to Facebook, so some of this is worded carefully and using stories and references to avoid getting censored.

Something that comes to mind every time a high profile death like this happens...

And to be clear, this isn't a condemnation, but food for thought:

In Judaism there's a relevant lesson, that we're guided not to celebrate death but to celebrate the diminishment of evil.

It's such a tiny difference, but I think it does make worlds of difference in our lives and in how we behave down the line.

I'll spare the talks of faith or divine judgement, but I'll speak to the practical effects I think are in play.

The risk in celebrating the death itself is that you start finding joy in the death of those you see as wrong or evil... and that joy can turn into a lowering of standards, in finding excuses to celebrate death. Eventually you start saying "But that man was evil so it's a good thing he died".

But what does it mean to celebrate the diminishment of evil? It means seeing what harm they would have done, and celebrating the end of that harm.

It's not enough to just say "there's one less bigot and evil person in the world", it's to ask how many lives do you think will be spared from harm?

The reason my celebration at this will be muted is because I honestly don't know if his voice was unique enough, or that it will take any time at all for him to be replaced and echoed.

It's not as simple as the United Healthcare death, where there was an immediate (but unfortunately temporary) change, that for a while after people got healthcare that would have otherwise been denied... without a doubt, many lives were saved.

In cases like this I especially think back to the story in my faith of the drowning of the Pharaoh's army in the Sea of Reeds. To the fact that a single soldier's death would have done little to diminish evil on it's own... but that single soldier's death is a necessary part of the greater whole that greatly diminishes evil.

#CharlieKirk #Judaism #Fascism



venting, suffering, request for validation

I'm really broken and miserable right now...

Everything is just too much, every minute feels like an incredible struggle both physically and mentally...

To start, I'm disabled, not that the government cares. My ADHD is really bad, especially when I'm exhausted and/or stressed (which is all the time), it's beyond incredibly difficult to start tasks let alone focus on them...

After that is my physical issues, of which there's little even figured out because the healthcare system is hell... I'm in constant pain, especially in my legs, moving or not. But when I move, every muscle has more and more over the years started to feel less and less flexible. My range of motion is shot, and every single movement takes more and more effort. (last suggestion from a doctor right before she left the practice, and I have no idea if it's at all accurate is she was thinking it might be fibromyalgia).

I'm not even sure if it's just an extension of that or something else, but I'm also constantly exhausted no matter how much rest I've had.

... and that's my fucking baseline...

I'm trans, not only in the US but in fucking Texas... so I'm dealing with all this government bigotry increasingly bearing down on me... and the knowledge that it's only a matter of time before they start arresting us just for existing.

I'm barely afloat financially, just short of a living wage... but after so long in poverty and so many instances of getting financially screwed I'm pretty much drowning in debt... Worst of all is the $5k a previous apartment complex wants because I was living with a sibling who had an emotional crisis, to the point of being institutionalized, and I have to leave because I couldn't remotely maintain the place by myself.

Thanks to the support of kind strangers and the people who love me I've got plans to get out of Texas to Washington state to be someplace safer... but the prospect is still incredibly difficult and painful because it means leaving behind the people I love and my support network...

The raw stress of all of this has me to the point where it's a major accomplishment to just do the fucking laundry...

Oh, and get this... the apartment complex I was looking at rejected my application because of that aforementioned landlord demanding $5k from me... because of course our lovely society thinks someone who has to leave a place because of poverty just miraculously has many times the rent to just hand over while they still try and find a place to live...

I've been crying and sobbing for weeks... even before this rejection...

And before anyone mentions: roommates just don't work out... I have only ever had one house where things have been remotely comfortable and stable with other people. Most of all because my mix of disabilities and autism causing conflicts with people... I can only really live alone it seems. (Those same problems that have made me struggle with employment my entire life)

... I'm just so tired of clinging on to life by my fingernails... I don't want riches and luxury... I just want to fucking exist...

I honestly wish giving up was an option on days like this...

I could probably use some words of encouragement right now... I don't even know if I'm able to process them... but I need something...



With the nonsense about gup.pe getting hijacked, honestly has me thinking again about secondary tools for the network...

Bright spot is that they probably can't imitate the server, as far as I understand it AP has keys for the servers to prevent that (which is also part of why you can't readily swap platforms, want to run something different you need to use a different domain).

Still, it has me thinking about maybe some secondary registry to track instance information. Maybe make these sort of events less disruptive.

This is entirely off the cuff idea, so think of this as spaghetti at the wall:

I was just imagining a signed file on servers that gave extended, non-platform specific, meta for the server, kinda like robots.txt.

I was just thinking information like:
* My IP is static, so if the IP changes without an updated signed file, then it's not safe (or it's dynamic, so don't worry if it changes)
* Remember my nameservers and do the same if the nameservers change
* Here's a moderator email for reporting posts (because the system mastodon has for sending reports to other servers is non-standard and not universal... I have to find moderator emails on about pages when I need to report something...)
* Maybe some tags if someone wants to make non-platform specific server directories
* Some flags like robots for nicer more compliant services, like bridges allowed/denied

And then maybe a dns middle-man service to toss on your server that checks these things periodically. So if something happens like with gup.pe there's a notice to admins and maybe it doesn't get cut off immediately, maybe letting admins give some final notices in more permanent situations.

#fedimeta #ideas



uspol, trans-genocide


The U.S. Department of Justice is looking into ways to limit transgender people's right to possess firearms, @CNN reports. This would be predicated on the idea that trans people are mentally ill. The idea has gained currency in conservative media since last week's school shooting, which police say was carried out by a trans woman, but the vast majority of mass attacks have no connection to transgender people.

flip.it/pfHK6d

#LGBTQ #TransRights #SecondAmendment #USPolitics #TrumpAdministration #USConstitution #USLaw




Mutual aid request for help to leave Texas

Resharing this again, because I need the help and it's what it takes to get it.

Current update on things is that I've just gotten over nearly a solid week of sobbing... I'm struggling hard physically and mentally just to function at a base level right now.

The state I live in is just about to pass a bathroom bill, and it's a minor miracle that the drastically worse bills didn't move forward this session, but they're coming.

Until I have enough funds to feel remotely confident that I can afford the costs of the move all I can really do is just keep putting one foot in front of another.

gofundme.com/f/assist-a-jewish…

#lgbtqia #lgbt #lgbtq #trans #MutualAid #CrowdFund



us pol, trans genocide, call for mutual aid

They're trying to spin a version of things that suddenly claims that most or all mass shooters are trans, despite zero evidence of that fact. And why are they doing that? Because it gives them an excuse for platforms like this...

This asshole is literally calling for me to not only be arrested, but experimented on!

... Things are speeding up.

I sorely need help getting at least to a state that will be more likely to defend me: gofundme.com/f/assist-a-jewish…

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #trans #MutualAid #transwoman

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in reply to Shiri Bailem

us pol, trans genocide, call for mutual aid

Sensitive content



Ugh... more than the chronic pain I'm so tired of how hard it is to move...

My whole body, face to toes, feels stiff. Every muscle feels like pulling and bending hard rubber.

I would kill for a massage to just loosen things up for a few hours... (and past experience tells me that's pretty much all I get)



mutual aid spam, funds for escaping Texas

Note: this is a copy/paste because I am so incredibly worn out emotionally I've been sobbing since Sunday over the whole situation. But what use is having a gofundme if I don't get it in front of people.

I hate spamming this out, but it's the only way this works, especially on AP-Fedi.

Gist is I need to get out of the state for my safety, and that's easier said than done with my disabilities, debts, and other limits.

My lease is up in mid-October, I really want to be able to just go straight from here to Washington State and even 2/3rds of this goal will make that happen... but the clock's ticking.

gofundme.com/f/assist-a-jewish…

#lgbtqia #lgbt #MutualAid #trans



crying, venting, struggling with hard decisions

Starting off my morning with a bit of sobbing...

I've got to move to someplace safer, but it means leaving behind most of my chosen family.

I know we'll stay in touch... but with everyone being poor that means the vast majority of them I'll never see again.

I don't want to fucking go... but I see the writing on the wall, and I remember all those stories from Jewish history of people who thought "It's not going to get that bad" right up until the gestapo kicked down their doors.

A part of me just wants to say "fuck it all" and stay, let them strip me down to nothing and kill me slowly and painfully... but for just a few more days with the people I love... but I also know they worry about me and it'll break them if I don't try to keep myself safe, so I've got to push through this.

I rely on them to push me to take care of myself often, I trust them and I know the urge to give up is partially rooted in my own fatalism toward my life... but dear god if this doesn't feel like preparing to amputate a limb...

#trans #ChosenFamily

in reply to Shiri Bailem

crying, venting, struggling with hard decisions

If anyone wants to help make it a little easier... can't change the pain but can change how difficult the task is that I'm dealing with alongside this pain...

gofundme.com/f/assist-a-jewish…


in reply to Shiri Bailem

More than 20 years ago, a first year undergraduate at some university had a similar experience. I believe her name was Melissa Cummings.


One of the things that pisses me off the most is the people always saying "violence is not the answer".

Do you know why Nazi punching is a thing? Why it goes beyond just "fuck nazis"?

Let me break it down a little:

Is violence in self defense okay when someone is attacking you? Obviously, because they're attacking you and "please stop killing me" isn't going to make much difference to someone in the process of killing you.

How about when they're just pointing a gun at you but haven't fired? Yes, because if they pull that trigger you're going to die.

What about when they're just threatening you? Like if someone says "I have a knife and the moment no-one is looking I'm going to stab you"... do you just ask them nicely not to? Do you wait for them to start stabbing before you think it's okay to fight back? You probably recognize that words can be violence then.

Let's go a bit further... let's say someone is stealing and destroying a diabetic's insulin? This is a life saving drug, do you think it's valid to use violence to stop them even though it's not directly killing them? Then you probably recognize that violence isn't just physical attacks on a person.

How about someone rallying people to get together and kill someone? Do you just debate them or do you stop them?

So if someone says they believe trans people shouldn't be allowed to exist? That we shouldn't have access to basic rights like being ourselves in public, or access to our medications? These are people rallying others to attack us, to destroy the things that keep us alive. They may not be actively stabbing us in the moment, but it's still violence against us.

Nazi speech, Terf speech, etc. IS violence. And violence is the appropriate response to violence.

Note how we're not talking about punching someone for just being capitalist, for shouting about free market bullshit. We're talking about punching people calling for our eradication.

Again: violence is the appropriate response to violence.

#PunchNazis #MakeNazisAfraidAgain #LGBT #LGBTQIA



99% of the time "Judeo-Christian" is antisemitic. And yes, I will absolutely elaborate on this if asked.

Credit: @Rabbit Cohen

Edit because this blew up far more than I expected and multiple people have asked for me to elaborate, here's a copy of my elaboration with follow up questions encouraged:

It's a messy topic and it's late here (I'm a bit sleepy), so feel free to ask follow up questions.

The short version of it is that Judeo-Christian is almost always used in one of two harmful ways:

1) To try and give more credibility and weight to something that is purely Christian by claiming that it's part of Judaism as well when it's not (like the above example, because Judaism explicitly permits abortions)
2) To try and talk about broader groupings of related faiths while ignoring the many other Abrahamic faiths (the proper term, though that one more often hurts the lesser known groups, don't use it unless you also know it applies to groups like the Baháʼí, which I'll admit even I know next to nothing about, but it's valid here because all I'm doing is naming their religious family)

Because many (cough most cough) teach a bastardized form of Judaism through the lens of Christianity, and because that's the only exposure many get to our faith... they get skewed harmful and hurtful ideas about us.

Some highlight examples:
* We don't have an established afterlife (we don't say there isn't one, we just have zero information on it if there is)
* We don't seek "eternal reward", the reward for our faith is being a better person than we were the day before
* We have forgiveness baked into our faith, and no it doesn't require animal sacrifice (it requires you to actually ask the person you wronged...)
* We thoroughly encourage arguing any topic with anyone (right time and place of course), and that includes picking a fight with God if you think they're wrong about something (you have a 99.9% chance of being wrong... but we commend the effort and every once in a while someone wins the argument)
* We have a rule, Pikuach Nefesh, roughly meaning that life is the highest commandment. Your well being takes precedence over your faith, if it would hurt you or others to be observant than you are exempt from that requirement. It's unacceptable to hurt others for your faith, and for yourself it's frowned upon
* We actively discourage conversion, it's allowed but it's not a trivial process. We don't want people to become Jews, we just want people to be better.

Unknown parent

friendica (DFRN) - Link to source
Shiri Bailem

@Shannon (she/her) @Pedestriansfirst I suppose you're technically correct, I guess I usually never think about it because there's always more apt descriptions (ie. Nazis are often Zionists because "Blood And Soil").

And yes on the antisemitism of it, I just chose not to say anything about that in favor of a chance at education. (Also a love for getting into arguments with aggressive militant atheists because it's so fun to see their talking points shatter and the confusion that comes from it)

And I didn't bring it up later because I felt from the conversation that it wasn't going to be a problem again from them because they learned some things about Judaism, Jewish Culture, and that religions people can in fact own and acknowledge bad behaviors in their own communities.

Unknown parent

friendica (DFRN) - Link to source
Shiri Bailem

@Shannon (she/her) I don't think believing all zionists are jews isn't that messy of a idea because it impacts so little, especially since the zionist behavior of non-jews is already easily discernible on it's own as awful anyways.

And keep in mind that the comparison is that this started from assuming that all Jews condoned the atrocities committed by the Israeli government and has walked away knowing that it's not uniform.



This is a long article, but the theory hits *hard* with me and connects really well.

The basic gist is that autistics almost always define our identities by what we do and our personal traits, while non-autistics almost always define their identities by their relationships (in particular to social groups)

If you don't have it in you to read all of it, definitely read the section: "How does having an experientially-constructed identity impact relationships?".

neuroclastic.com/the-identity-…

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friendica (DFRN) - Link to source
Shiri Bailem

@bike I suspect it isn't that much different. Collectivist societies can be awful in their own ways.

They're still better imo, but they have a tendency to focus too hard on traditions and conformity on top of the ideals of communal responsibility.

But in all cases it's a mesh of peer pressure and group identity vs our value identity.

Unknown parent

friendica (DFRN) - Link to source
Shiri Bailem
@bike I get that, I mostly mention that so I don't come across as bashing collectivist societies incidentally. My point was more that I doubt there's that much difference for us, just swap out one set of rules that don't make sense for another set that don't make sense for a different reason.


Why You Must Keep The Monsters Human


*(Reposting because my node crashed and lost all my posts and I want to keep this one pinned)*

I've been mulling over making this post for a little bit, but I think it's really **really** important.

It's critically important that you remember and acknowledge the humanity of monsters. Not for their benefit, but for *everyone else's* benefit.

When someone commits a monstrous act or shares a monstrous belief, we want to think of them as an inherently vile and non-human thing.

But doing so shields and protects other monsters.

When you make a Nazi, or any kind of abuser, into a one-dimensional monster. When you make their whole existence *center* on this monstrous act or belief... you make it hard to see their humanity. And that's the point, you don't *want* to see their humanity.

*** You Don't Want To Believe That Someone You Know And Trust (Maybe Even Love) Is Capable Of Such Atrocity. ***

And that's the problem. Because when you reject their humanity, that humanity becomes their shield. Your friend Bob can't possibly be a Nazi or a child-abuser, he's such a loving father and he helped you move!

Because you see their humanity, you can't possibly imagine them as monsters because the monsters have no humanity in your eyes.

There's a reason that when serial killers get caught their neighbors say they couldn't imagine them doing such things.

So don't ignore their humanity, keep it in your mind... so the next one can't use it as a shield.

reshared this