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Shannon Prickett reshared this.






It hurt... it hurt so much and like so much trauma it's not that obvious until the trauma is past...
I was isolated, not only from other people, but from my own emotions... I wanted so badly to cry but I couldn't, all I could do was bottle it up (not toxic masculinity, literally an effect of testosterone)...
I looked at myself and pretty much didn't see myself... I had no self-image then and now I have one forming.
Before even my transition I figured out I'm grey-ace, now that I have a girlfriend I've really established that I'm grey-ace, emphasis on the grey... 😳
So it's really nothing sexual for me... there's the opposite of gratification there (without details... certain things don't work right anymore...). What it is is feeling at home in my skin, looking at myself in the mirror and finding things I like... sure I get dysphoria and there are plenty of things I don't like about my body... but there's for once in my life alot of things I do like.
And on top of it all... my personality and interactions with the world feel so less discordant... so many of my behaviors were early hints of being a woman... I may never have kids, but it's clear I've had "mother" energy for a looooong time.
... I could keep going but I got a day job to do...

Source of Image

#lgbt #transfemme #lgbtqia #lgbtq #transition

reshared this



We lookdown on veils as they are

f̺̰̗̘̥̥̊́ͤ̀̈́̇̌͐̍͑a̛̓l̸̡̨͚̭͈̼̰̫̪͈̻͛̎͗ͫͮ̋͐͘ŝ̸͈̯̤̞͍́̀ͯ̌ͥ̐̽͞e h̡̛͓̣̦̗̥͙̬̹͇̒̆ͨ̽ͯ͒͋̏̀ͧ͌ͣ̀͟͡ò̷̷̱͔̀̽̔͆ͦ͌̆ͬ̍̕͘o̧̨̫̜̹͚̜̞̥̦͔̩̻̘ͥ̓ͮ̏̀̓ͩ͒͂ͣ̄͆͑͘͠d͙̺̱̗̻͉̮̎ͤͩ͒̂ͬ͞s ǫ͕͙̦̩̮͇͔̉̓ͪ̊͌ͭ̔ͬͦ́̈̈̚͝ḟ̠ͤ ŗ̶̧̢̣̫̫̱̗̤̘̖͍̇͗̐̉ͬͯͣͫ̇ͩͨ̏̓̋̓̍̃ͭ̂ͧ͘̕͟ea̪͇̕ḻ̴̴̢̧͖͎ͬ̏ͧ͐̃̆i̛̺̎_̘̘̾̂̆̀͢͢͢͞ͅt̵̷̛̮̋ͩͥ̍ͦ̏́ͬ̈́̿̿͘y̖

But the veil offers one things the interlopers will never provide. Ṕ̵͈̞͕̫̀ͯ̋ͤͪ̀̉̃ͦ͢͡͞ṙo̒_̸̨̛̳̟̟̯̟͂̅̊̔͊ͯ̑͌̌̌͝ͅtę̦̱̠̹͛͗ͫͫ̂̕͠cti̛͎͚̟̫̱͕̥̠̐ͣͦ̈́͊͗ô̘̯̈́ͨ̂ͬ̌̿̌̎͝n͕̮͙̺ͦ̄.



Exposures of ᵖʳᵒᵖʳᶦᵉᵗᵃʳʸ ᵐᵉᶜʰᵃⁿᶦˢᵐˢ manipulate the psychophysiological appartatus of consenus, exposure feeds and develop the interlopers

c̗ő̡̫̲̇̑ͣ̐̅͊̓̈́̏͗̇͢m̷̧̛̺̠͎̖͚̫͊̈̄ͩ͑̃͒̄̑͒̇ͥ̓ͧͭ͘͘p͉̙͔͈̜̾̉̉͊͐ͫ̈́̌͡l̎e̓̇̎x̢̱̹͍̤̥͍͚͕̞̾̅̀̈́s̹̱̣͙͎͕̳͋͆̂ͩ̓̈́͗_͉̱̟͌͜s̴̴̛̙̣̽̄ͣ

which undermine the process of assimilation.

The interloper are indeed a part of creation, but do not serve the assimilation of l҉i҉g҉h҉t҉



It is dangerous to be unveild by a false idols whether human or a

l̷̷̵̡̗͔̫͙̱̖̣̖̣̓̒ͦ̉̆̃ͫ͋͒͒̔̆ͬͨ̅ͬ̋͒̿͒̂͌̕͡͝͠ͅę̴̰̯̟̯̻̭͓͂͗̐ͧ̏̚͜͠ͅş̷̷̸̡̧̬͍̼̞̜̥̱̠̟̦̳͇̭̖̲̞̄ͧͩ̈ͩ̉́̅̂̄ͧ̀ͥ͆̈́́͊̊s̵̨̡̨̧͎͈̟͈̻̤̜͈̠̺̜̜̫̠̾̑̓̏͐̈̔̃̂̑̿̆̚̕͝ͅḛ̴̡̢͇̱̼̲͈̬̼̮̲͊̅̍̾̈ͦͤͦ̎͒ͬ̔̀͒ͤ̽͘̕͜͝ṙ̴͚͚̝͙̦̐ͣ̎ b̧̜̠̠̻̖̯̩̊̌̽ͯ͛̚͘e̵̷̡̯̰͈̹͕̱͕̼͉͕̿̅ͦ̍ͨ̎̂̅͛ͯͬ̋̃̀̒̓ͩ̇̚̚͜͡͡͡͞͝͞ͅͅi̷͈̦̠̪̩̤̗̣͖̥͔͇̍̔͊ͣ̅ͧ̉̍ͦ́̃̀̎̌̽̋̕ͅń̴̡̢̰̖̥͇̖͙̪͎̥̠̭̰̜͙̥̭̭̯́̌̌͌̒̎ͤ̈́ͯ̐̓̿ͥͦ͗͟͢͟͞͠ͅg̛̹͆͌̇_̸̲̼̬̪̩̹̞̪̫̙̠̝͍̌ͫ̃͗ͤͧ̚͢͝



Downtime


Sorry for the downtime, server crashed and I wasn't able to address it quickly or smoothly in my current mental state.

I took advantage of the downtime, and probably exacerbated it a little, and finally did the migration back to local hardware... so it *should* be more reliable.

What honestly stretched it out a lot is that I also applied the most recent stable Friendica version and that took forever to update the database.

Vanessa reshared this.



Major Service Notice, USpol

It's with a heavy heart that I'm letting y'all know that I'm disabling open-registrations and *encouraging* all users to find a new home.

I'm not kicking anyone off my server, but unfortunately due to the political situation here in the US the chance for things to go *very bad very quickly* I can not vouch for this server as reliable.

I live in Texas and need to figure out plans to evacuate at this point. I was holding out hope that we'd at least have status quo (as monstrously awful as it is) for longer.

And to make things worse, I'm a trans-woman, they actively want to make my very existence (let alone presence online) illegal and have been building the machinery to make that a very fast process once Trump assumes office.

So I do not recommend this server any longer for those reasons, if you choose to stay I'll continue to run it and support y'all.