"Revenge quitting" is the inevitable result of a workplace evolution that’s been brewing for years, and business experts predict why the trend will boil over in 2025.
100%, but it's even worse b/c they're doing the passport checks on domestic travel now, and anyone with the "X" vs "M" or "F" is gonna get sent to prison, so air travel isn't an option.
And, troopers in Ohio are randomly stopping people, so I'm not sure it's a safe state anymore.
@boB Rudis 🇺🇦 I haven't heard anything of people being arrested over passport markers, only of their passports being confiscated? Do you have links to any stories on this?
I'll grab the links. Atlanta airport started requiring passports for domestic this week, which will mean they will do "X" checks (there's an EO forcing the passport change). We have turned trans humans back from overseas due to solely trans.
This past year has been intense, and especially these past few years... I look at the me from a decade ago and I barely recognize them. Hopes and dreams have changed, life upended multiple times. Disowned my relatives and now I've adopted a large chosen family. Gone from alone to feeling loved by so many people, and one especially in particular. My egg finally cracked. I started HRT. Changed my name twice. Been traumatized multiple times. Unpacked so much fucking trauma. Moved so many times. My profession took off. My profession crashed and burned. And I'm about to start it all over again.
I just turned 39 last friday... and honestly I feel really hopeful for my future... even with a new holocaust looming over my head. But I also look back and am happy where I am...
I get incredibly anxious now when someone I care about is uncomfortable, especially if I might be connected to that discomfort. It goes beyond fawning and can easily turn into me pestering them with excessive check-ins and an overbearing effort to try and comfort a discomfort that may not even be there.
I'm scared of physical intimacy... I've always craved it, I need it... but I don't really pursue it like I need anymore.
I've realized I can get callous very quickly when I sense potentially malicious manipulation, it serves me well but I recognize now that it's definitely the sign of something broken that I can become coldly calculating so quickly
I have a powerful resistance to gaslighting that I've developed from a lifetime of people attributing reasons and understandings to my actions that were not there, from just accusing me of non-existent disrespect (#autism) to calling me lazy when I'm suffering from executive dysfunction.
I am constantly terrified of how I'm perceived and especially that I might be distrusted... I spent most of my life wanting to connect with people, predominantly women (go figure I wanted to be friends with women more than men in retrospect...) and being shut down because I was seen as a man... because there was not a single action I could take that they didn't already do to try and manipulate women... (well... I finally found one action they won't take lol)
While I no longer have a broadly negative self-image, I can say positive things about myself and believe good things about myself... a nugget of dissonance still remains. A part of me still struggles to believe I can be loved despite all the blatant evidence in front of me. I know that part is wrong, but it makes all my love given and received feel so very very raw.
I spent so very very long isolated, especially emotionally... What love I felt wasn't healthy, it was mostly the love of obligation that you get in dysfunctional conservative families. Having spent my whole life without feeling it, genuine love is incredibly overwhelming... I think about my family and it feels like I'm stretched taught over a creaking barrel ready to blow from pressure... So when the people I love give me a way to show them love, it feels like an intense pressure valve release.
I made a guide, it's clumsy and sloppy but it's something.
This is for setting up GPG on Android for people who need secure communication that can't be shut down and doesn't rely on government services, especially trackable services.
I'm getting older and I hate it... aging with chronic pain sucks.
The whole day has been a struggle, struggle to move, struggle to think, struggle to motivate.
I've still lived my life, but it's moments like how hard it is getting out of bed from a nap, or just how hard it is to get myself to do simple things like putting away the groceries...
My muscles just don't want to move, and I'm just so tired...
Bill Text (2025-02-26) Relating to the provision of procedures and treatments for gender transitioning, gender reassignment, or gender dysphoria and the use of public money or public assistance to provide those procedures or treatments. [Filed]
Stonewall & LGBTQIA+ history is being re written, but the 'LGB' is not safe either. Removing Transgender history is generally the first step.Support my conte...
Article about search engine I use, even wilder they just introduced an absurd business practice. You know how companies try to trap you in trials then hope you forget so they can charge you forever for something you don't use?
They just announced that if you're not using it they'll stop charging you. If you use it again then they'll charge you next month.
@bgrinter I've had a browser tab open on the Kagi sign-up screen for months now. Like many, I’m quite subscription-fatigued, but this one is REALLY tugging at me to try.
Something I felt like i should share, because I really don't think many realize...
I don't say this to surrender, I say this to say how big the fight is and how important each and every one of you is to it.
Do you know when the vast majority of people realized how real the threat was of the holocaust?
... when they saw a pile of shoes when the camps were being cleared out.
The holocaust meant nothing to those fighting the war, it would have been trivial for the allies to save so very very many lives... they simply didn't really care, they didn't see our suffering as real... until they saw that pile of shoes.
Don't count on Trump or the Republicans to finally be recognized for the Nazis they are and the majority to suddenly be in revolt.
Prepare for a fight and know that every fighter counts.
And know that every life saved matters, especially when the threat is extinction.
Reminded yet again how I'm pissed at people surrendering and calling it victory...
A reminder: if you're part of the "Block Bluesky/Threads By Default" crowd, you're just handing over victory.
Enshittifying the fediverse because you're afraid of big corpos and think everyone who isn't already here can just die in the hellhole fire of the other networks, "How DARE People Suggest We Build Fire Exits!".
So yeah, screw that self absorbed bullshit.
People are leaving the fediverse for Bluesky, why? Because people over here demand purity to random ideals, because people over here think it's unreasonable that someone might want to connect with friends and loved ones who made a different choice of network.
This is part of a much bigger problem... pissed that I'm surrounded all my life by people who think holier than though infighting and rejecting anyone who isn't pure enough in their ideals, instead of y'know actually pushing for changes that protect people.
I'm staring down the barrel of a gun in my life as my country falls apart to fascism and I'm in the top two of most hated and most at risk minorities... but at least y'all kept people on Bluesky from realizing the fediverse even exists...
This is why I'm pissed at defederating threads just because it's meta, or the bluesky bridge, let alone people bullying the dev into crippling it with "opt-in" systems.
Good arguments by @pluralistic on why we need to focus on liberating people who are forcibly locked into Big Tech.
> #Mastodon 's progenitors should be praised for ensuring their creation was born free – but the fact that #Bluesky isn't free enough is no reason to turn our back on it. Our response to anything that locks in the people we care about must be to *shatter those locks*, not abandon the people bound by the locks because they didn't heed to our warnings.
Day One: They're starting an investigation that will probably lead to them revoking my passport in the near future.
They're starting another investigation into supposed harmful effects of HRT (odds are results will be complete bullshit), which they'll use to enact further actions prohibiting me from getting my HRT.
Put up family photos on the wall... to be clear, my found family not the relatives.
I'd been fussing over a proper way to put them up, but eventually just settled recently on ordering some adhesive clips. Perfect is the enemy of good.
There's now a nice spread of family photos on the wall, and it makes me feel loved. These weren't people born into a family with me... these are all people who chose to call me family. It takes up so much space on the wall and it might not do much for other people, for me it drastically brightens up the space just glancing over seeing the faces of the people I love and who love me.
Seeing talk again about Neil Gaiman as more people become aware of his abuses, and reminded of something I wrote earlier that absolutely relates.
The short of it is, as always, we want to simply repaint people as inhuman monsters the moment we find out behaviors like this. We want them to be "them" not "us", because if they're regular people who do awful things then all of "us" can be awful and I can't conveniently ignore the awful things people do around me.
Likewise, in the case of artists, there's a tendency to immediately see all of their art as complete trash. Not just tainted, but as being poor quality to begin with. Sometimes there's validity when it was rose-colored glasses before (ie. JKR's blatant bigotry throughout her writing that we glossed over mostly because we were kids and not paying attention), but often it's not based in the actual quality and experience of the work itself... just the tainted associations around it.
I'm not suggesting you should ignore the artist and just "get over yourself" or anything like that. I'm saying it's important to not automatically associate good artist with good person.
Because it's such a clear and easy example I love to point out Joss Whedon with this. His good stuff doesn't stop being good, it just becomes unenjoyable because you see him reflected in it. And what I think happens in both Joss Whedon's case and Neil Gaiman's is that their awfulness contributed to the quality, it didn't just fly under the radar.
In the case of Whedon, it's because his fetish was "breaking strong women", to fulfill that fetish in his writing that meant he had to write strong women. Because he so often wrote series, it mean he also had to write stories of them recovering their strength after being broken (so he could ultimately break them again). We connected with the strength of these women, that's what often made his stories so good and he hid behind that.
Dismissing all of that because it's come out that he's awful means we're not paying attention to how other artists show themselves, or how seemingly positive people might just be awful people with the mirror opposite abuses to the positives being celebrated.
*(Reposting because my node crashed and lost all my posts and I want to keep this one pinned)*
I've been mulling over making this post for a little bit, but I think it's really **really** important.
It's critically important that you remember and acknowledge the humanity of monsters. Not for their benefit, but for *everyone else's* benefit.
When someone commits a monstrous act or shares a monstrous belief, we want to think of them as an inherently vile and non-human thing.
But doing so shields and protects other monsters.
When you make a Nazi, or any kind of abuser, into a one-dimensional monster. When you make their whole existence *center* on this monstrous act or belief... you make it hard to see their humanity. And that's the point, you don't *want* to see their humanity.
*** You Don't Want To Believe That Someone You Know And Trust (Maybe Even Love) Is Capable Of Such Atrocity. ***
And that's the problem. Because when you reject their humanity, that humanity becomes their shield. Your friend Bob can't possibly be a Nazi or a child-abuser, he's such a loving father and he helped you move!
Because you see their humanity, you can't possibly imagine them as monsters because the monsters have no humanity in your eyes.
There's a reason that when serial killers get caught their neighbors say they couldn't imagine them doing such things.
So don't ignore their humanity, keep it in your mind... so the next one can't use it as a shield.
And if anyone on the other side of the Bluesky bridge wonders why I can't tag ecoandrewtrc.bsky.social, it's because they're not bridged (This can be fixed by them following ap.brid.gy)
Random thought occurring to me after I struggled to sleep last night...
There's a thing for a lot of people with ADHD where caffeine is kinda like rolling dice... sometimes it helps you wake up and sometimes it puts you to sleep.
I realized last night I was having a mild dopamine crash (spent all my dopamine on the workday) and I was craving caffeine so I said screw-it, if I can't sleep might as well... within half an hour I think I was out.
So it dawned on me that it could be simply related to our dopamine levels at the time. If we're spent then it's practically impossible to settle down. So when you're spent and otherwise tired, then caffeine is reducing the barrier to sleep as well. It backfires on us because we're still up from the combination of drowsiness and low dopamine, but because it's milder than say ritalin it doesn't drop our drowsiness as much as it raises the dopamine to let you settle...
Wanted to share for what other people think of this possibility?
@donburnside Same here. First day I was on Ritalin I slept all day. Caffeine is it formme now, but if I overdo it it can make me jittery but mostly it helps me chill. It's usually not that stopping me sleeping, I always assumed it was.
Thank you for being my family and all the love and kindness you've given me over the years! And thank you for gifting us another trip around the sun together ❤
If I wasn't terrified that I'd have to drop everything and run in a few months, and y'know poor on top of that*... I'd seriously consider setting up a sharkey or similar instance on the side just so I could recommend a place with a friendly UI that I could 100% vouch for... (there's plenty of other instances I like, but so many of them make restrictive decisions that I don't like like blocking Bridgy).
(* mostly just don't like the idea of setting up a server, getting users, and then having to run for my life and the server just disappearing... same reason I limited registration on my current instance)
I could use more recommendations for fediverse servers to suggest to people. Both to refresh lists but also because I need some that are more accessible.
One thing I've run into is the number of places that block threads and bridgy which is a major negative to my recommendations... I'm trying to convince people and those are two great ways to help convince people to move to the fediverse over just moving to threads and bluesky...
"Ad Hominem" is a logical fallacy in which they dismiss the argument by addressing the person not the argument.
Ad Hominem is not calling the person a douchebag while addressing the points of the argument.
Ad Hominem is saying those points should be dismissed because they are a douchebag.
It's thrown around (improperly) often by people who want to basically say "you've lost the argument because you're angry" but what to add elitism on top of entitlement.
Easy test: if you can remove all the insults from the argument and it still makes sense, then it's not Ad Hominem.
My little fur niece and my family still need help. While the goal has been met, it's the bare minimum, if things go well and luck is good things will work out... but things are really hard even then.
Please consider donating more to improve her odds and help support my sister, her husband, and my nephew through this.
Hello to all the big hearts out there. My name is Zee and Bluebell (aka Baby… Tanya Laird needs your support for Help Bluebell Get Well & Stay With Her Family
@Henry willow to be clear, this is my sister's campaign. As far as I know they're stable, they're just holding their breath for worse and cutting back on their own care to cover and prep (ie. my sister has severe health issues, my nephew has dietary issues, and they're cutting groceries).
So donations right now are toward breathing room, toward either avoiding possible bad news putting them back under or if all goes well then toward getting them back on their feet.
cephalon-sancti: “whitebear-ofthe-watertribe: “salamandorange: “tiktoksthataregood-ish: “” The most PATHETIC lil baby sounds… ” I love when little creatures who are entirely loved and well cared for...
@RS I suspect it's because it's a linked post from Tumblr and they decided to change their account name and because Tumblr is a pile of crap it broke the link as opposed to forwarding it. Here's a fixed link: belalugosisdeadname.tumblr.com…
Thanks for letting me know, I'll try and keep an eye out for it happening again if I'm guessing wrong.
Just saying, if I had any real ability to influence standards or get things implemented, I'd be rolling out yesterday a standard reporting system for the fediverse...
It's frankly ridiculous that every platform handles moderation reports differently, sometimes within a platform there's support for sending the report automatically from your home instance to the remote instance, but not something I'd remotely rely on.
Hell, I'm running a Friendica instance and the only way you're going to send me moderation reports if you're not logged into my server is to just find the info page for the server and email me or tag me, which is frankly ridiculous.
Like this isn't remotely hard to implement in code, the problem is entirely getting people to adopt it!
Nothing like reading a lesbian superhero novel and being able to viscerally feel all the romantic and touchy feely elements thanks to them actually being present in your life.
I love my partner so much, I knew I longed for these feelings but nothing in the world could prepare me for how they actually feel. How intense it is to just be loved like that, or how quickly they can shut down your entire nervous system with just their fingertips...
hrbrmstr 🇺🇦 🇬🇱 🇨🇦
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •100%, but it's even worse b/c they're doing the passport checks on domestic travel now, and anyone with the "X" vs "M" or "F" is gonna get sent to prison, so air travel isn't an option.
And, troopers in Ohio are randomly stopping people, so I'm not sure it's a safe state anymore.
Shiri Bailem
in reply to hrbrmstr 🇺🇦 🇬🇱 🇨🇦 • •@boB Rudis 🇺🇦 I haven't heard anything of people being arrested over passport markers, only of their passports being confiscated? Do you have links to any stories on this?
And Ohio notably isn't on that map.
hrbrmstr 🇺🇦 🇬🇱 🇨🇦
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •I'll grab the links. Atlanta airport started requiring passports for domestic this week, which will mean they will do "X" checks (there's an EO forcing the passport change). We have turned trans humans back from overseas due to solely trans.
(my bad re: Ohio…been a day so far)
Shiri Bailem
Unknown parent • •