it is fucking unacceptable that this election is this close. im seriously fucking ashamed in humanity. have we collectively gone fucking brain dead? 46% of people think a fascist dictator is the superior option? you people make me sick
Love this video. The conversations of autistic people are usually values based, not identity based. Working out who we are in relationship to each other via Phatic language and small talk isn’t something we naturally do or enjoy. We just want to cut to the chase and talk about the stuff we’re really interested in. I can have a fascinating conversation with someone I’ve just met and come away knowing very little about them as a person, except the stuff that really matters to me, their interests & values. It’s not that I don’t care about them as a person, and if I get to know them better, I will develop an interest in the things that are currently key factors in their life - their health, relationships, work etc.
I remember a pop-psychology based sermon in church one time about a simplistic binary notion of people as focussed on people or tasks. I’m a people person. I’m highly empathetic and like helping people. But if I can also be very focussed on the task at hand and if it’s not apparent to me (& I’m pretty observant) that someone is upset in some way, I’ll often focus on the task and skip phatic language & small talk.
"Hello!" "Thank you!" "You're welcome!" These are all phatic expressions, and people can argue about them. Pull down the description for the references! MORE...
Yes, neurotypicals parrot values but build their relationships in aesthetic/emotional ("cultural", misunderstood) compability. Once they have that settled their "empathy" kicks in and they close their group to others.
Holy shit, today I learned... now I can at least follow people on Bluesky without having to make an account... (Bonus because Friendica supports RSS natively, but y'all on Mastodon and similar will probably benefit from this)
One of my favorite people is now on blue sky, and I dont want to create a bluesky account just to follow him.
Fortunately every blue sky account has an rss feed, and RSSParrot can create a fediverse account for me to follow so I can get my favorite twitch streamer's bluesky updates right in my mastodon timeline: rss-parrot.net/
My instance is currently running on a rented dedicated server, but in the next few weeks gets transferred back down to my own local hardware. But it still doesn't cost nothing to run even after that (power, internet, upgrades, backups, time).
I literally never received a donation, but I keep trucking on.
That said, running your own instance is rewarding and I definitely encourage shared hosting solutions.
The power of the fediverse is decentralization which doesn’t happen by accident. If you’re on a server you love then support it financially, but if you’re thinking of changing servers consider spinning up your own.
The cost of managed hosting via @fedihost is the same as what I was previously contributing to my prior server, but now I have complete control of my experience.
I would love to host on my own hardware someday, but networking is my kryptonite. I have no idea how to make a RaspberryPi accessible externally (on a dynamic IP) without introducing all manner of security risks that I don’t understand.
absolutely losing my shit at the concept of my wife having independent thoughts. what’s next. she develops object permanence? starts perceiving linear time? NOT in MY marriage
I feel just a tiny bit sorry for the men who have never known what it is like to be loved unconditionally by a whole person. A person who could do anything, go anywhere but they choose to be with you. A person you can get to know better and better forever but never fully understand.
It is a very tiny thing, however, my sadness for what they are missing. Only because what they are missing is so immense.
@futurebird What really makes me angry with this is the absolute selfishness of the men. No thought about protecting the health of their women and mothers of their children, they will gladly throw them under a bus to get their way. Self-centred pieces of crap who deserve to be single forever.
“It’s like an affair!”, cries the man whose current wife was his subordinate and office side piece while his then-wife was home with their young children.
I kind of doubt that there are that many women actually doing this, seeing as so many of the ones I do know are all in on the cult.
However the fact that men are losing their minds at the mere thought that it COULD happen gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. I hope it haunts their every thought.
Don't get me wrong, I really hope these women ARE voting Harris because it's in their best interest. I also love the idea of insecure white dudes considering that they might not be in control.
To be fair, they're actually angry about the idea that wives have independent thoughts and actions and LIE to their husbands about them.
You and I know that women married to men like this have to mediate reality for them on a daily basis just to have a normal life, but this revelation has rocked their world.
IDK if the last line is referencing "not in my america" people but a local working a booth at a game today had someone unironically tell him "not in my america" today and just
the scary part is what these maggots will do once their orange garbage gets buried at the dump... They'd want revenge and who will be the first and easiest target?
If these #Maga-#Nuts cannot live with different #Opinions of their #Wives, they maybe should get #divorced ? Maybe it doesn't fit together anymore, because of too much #Hate and #Idiotism ?
(a quirk of neurology is that we internalize the words we say about ourselves and weirdly tone and intent don't matter... so sarcastically complimenting yourself still eventually leads to higher self-esteem... likewise even if you don't believe it, telling yourself that you deserve love will help you later feel it)
@Antonia jones yeah, it's from cognitive behavioral therapy. And like I said the weirdest part of it is how the words matter more than the meaning you intend.
So for instance saying "Of course I deserve love and affection" sarcastically does actually help your mental state even if it's just another way of saying you don't.
I struggled hard for a very long time with critically low self-esteem and self-worth, I'm not going to pretend this is some easy light switch... it's just something that nudges things over time... like it might take years to really turn around, but it matters because those are years where you'd otherwise be getting worse.
The other big advice, and a rule I sometimes struggle to follow but has been huge in my development: never reject or dismiss a complement. You don't have to accept it or believe it, but never brush it off.
@shiri yes, cutething, we're all gonna gang up on you till you melt into our arms and admit that you're not only good, and cute, but hot, and loved and lovable
@12 @shiri ok cutie guess ill just have to talk about how cute you are on your behalf and maybe even share proof, like you in my t-shirt that i "accidentally" left there
@12 @shiri while im not blind (though i was temporarily due to treatment under Moorfields eye hospital for 6 months at age 10) i am partially sighted (blind except for a small amount of peripheral vision in my left eye) and can say 100% she is super cute
@Chaos1842 @shiri eeeeeeeeeeee what if we both gently pinned her and kissed her and showered her in love and adoration and reminders of what a good girl she is?
@Chaos1842 @shiri haaa, careful, *melt* and *drop* are dangerously close in our own ficking mind, we start mentioning one and our mind is likely to spin the other one up and...... fdsjklfsdjfcsdf
(a quirk of neurology is that we internalize the words we say about ourselves and weirdly tone and intent don't matter... so sarcastically complimenting yourself still eventually leads to higher self-esteem... likewise even if you don't believe it, telling yourself that you deserve love will help you later feel it)
@shiri @Chaos1842 and probably actually make sure we remember how to in Gaeilge since we haven't done anything with that language for a fucking long time
Context: there's a local haunted house called Scare For A Cure that raises money for charity and is fully volunteer run. (Last year raised $50k for the Breast Cancer Research Center and also distributed thousands in scholarships and other donations). Additionally this isn't your typical "here's a series of themed rooms and spooks and nothing more", Scare runs a full plotline with interactivity, you do stuff and have a story you're participating in... in addition to getting shot with about a half dozen gore cannons within one hour...
I've been volunteering in different roles throughout the month, with some interruptions here and there. On Saturday, the final night of the event, I was resetting "Jekyll and Hyde's secret storeroom". This involved sneaking in behind groups to replace the mcguffin (a vial of serum) and reset the exit portal. Normally this involves sneaking down the hallway as soon as they're in the storeroom, waiting for the moment they exit the store room to slip in, reset it, then slip back out into the hallway and out a side door... but if groups run close together, I might have to wait in the store room as one group enters the hallway and the next group lingers in the next space, the moment they leave I slip out the door behind them and slip between the buildings to get back to my starting position.
One group however... they were moving so slow and had zero consideration for the fact that there's a production that cares about timing... they caused 2 groups to pile up right behind them. So resetting after them I had to duck into the next room instead of returning back... but then the group right after them was stuck waiting a really long time in that space before they could move forward while another group was in the hall... I literally had nowhere to go and by the sound cues there was only seconds before they came in the room and the group ahead wasn't even starting to leave...
I dropped into the fetal position, started sobbing about how Jekyll killed everyone and just played the victim who was completely broken and hiding, and when they left i cried about how it wasn't safe out there (the portals all led to "in between" spaces where "The Hunter" was).
Funnily enough the guide for that group was the casting director and the actor playing Jekyll/Hyde was one of the main co-directors of the show watching through a crack in the wall going "oh shit" at seeing me still in there.
The actual official plan for that happening was to just suck it up and let it happen... nobody counted on me coming up with split second improvisation to maintain immersion...
I have a new pet theory: writers could use writing image captions as a writing exercise for describing scènes visually in their work. Could that be anything?
Sometimes Matt calls me when he can’t remember a database password, but lately, it seems that every time we talk, it’s about another challenge against one of the books in my high school library. buff.ly/48mZYtK
Real change makes someone powerful mad. It doesn't happen until everyone powerful is more scared than mad AND stops trying to prevent the change. (Fear makes you stupid. Powerful fear ≠ constructive response.)
"Women are people with agency" (~"no slaves"), "people need to eat" and "you can't keep the loot" (~"climate") are real change.
Reality will get to the incumbents eventually. It's better if we get there first.
Still staggering to me that there are people who are like “Uhmmm, I’m not voting Kamala because she supports [thing Trump supports much harder]!” like good to know you’re privileged enough that you don’t fucking care. “Oh but if we don’t vote then the Democrats will be pressured and” no they won’t they don’t give a shit their strategy for getting more voters is appealing to the median not becoming more progressive.
Not voting for Kamala because of whatever issue is basically just saying that if Trump wins you’ll be totally fine and will suffer no meaningful consequences. Which like, yeah politely fuck off.
I don’t exactly expect the world from Kamala Harris but if Trump wins I might not be able to vote the next time I have the chance. If you’re in a swing state and don’t want to vote because of stuff like this, PLEASE just vote, you can pressure the Democratic Party via other means that don’t sacrifice the rights of LGBTQ+ people.
Today I learned that GNU tar does network connections if you say "foo:bar", it tries to resolve "foo". FFS, wasn't the Unix philosophy to do one thing and do it well? Luckily there's a "--force-local" option to GNU tar to avoid it doing remote connections.
Sorry if you're in trouble now, either reviewing your tar calls in your application and whether they can take user input as filename -- or if this was part of your exfiltration or attack on a system.
reading a kinky comic and this panel comes up and I think "mm that must be nice" and as I sit on that thought my mind wanders back to reality and I notice the feeling of a collar around my own neck and just
anxiety attack regarding us pol, transphobia, antisemitism, health
Totally beyond overwhelmed right...
Moves wildly overwhelm me in the best of times, but now I'm: * getting over being sick, still losing sleep from coughing and occasional debilitatingly painful coughing fits * still exhausted from recent overwhelming emotional labor a couple of weeks ago * massive anxiety over being hyper aware of increasing threats to my safety from !the fucking government! for being trans and how it's even fucking with my ID and ability to legally drive (I literally have no valid photo id right now, and terrified that'll block me from moving in) * next month is an election that determines whether this country continues its descent into mirroring Nazi Germany * nevermind that sickness and anxiety kept me from attending The High Holy Days at synagogue! * or the fact that said synagogue still has the persistent reminder of being firebombed back in 2021 and anti-semitism is only getting worse so I'm always a little afraid when attending
I just... can't... but I still have to keep moving somehow...
As someone who doesn’t see ads (no TV, no Facebook & such, ad blocker firmly in place) and is not in a swing state, I had no idea the ads elsewhere were so transphobic:
I can only begin to imagine how scary this must be for all the trans folks out there. And all of us who care about them are horrified, too. I sure hope our votes show that we support the trans community wholeheartedly.
If you're not from a swing state, I don't think you can fully appreciate how much the GOP is focusing on transphobia for this campaign. It's like 50% of the ads in Wisconsin.
@Jeri Dansky I thankfully due to ad blockers and no TV avoid 99% of the ads, and the few that get through are usually tuned toward me which avoids it... but even before that I'm deeply terrified.
I can't update my license or car registration safely because the DMV has become a place of danger.
@Jeri Dansky for the record if you've missed it, they've made a policy in which they're refusing to accept court orders that involve changing gender markers (they won't even process the name change portion) and send all such documentation to a central list for "review", notably our attorney general has in the past attempt to get lists of all transgender people in Texas from the DMV but couldn't because the system didn't track reason for the correction. Even worse, they're currently discussing investigation previous changes and reversing them.
So I can't get my ID updated, and because the whole system of putting people on a list isn't a clean cut thing, it's entirely possible for just one transphobe at a DMV office to put me on said list regardless of my actually trying to update my ID. And that's before getting to the fact that my federal ID now no longer matches my state ID. (Which also means I risk messy consequences if I try to vote)
After so many expenses and so much struggle even managing expenses, on top of this, I'm considering just giving up my car altogether.
At the very least, I have the ability to pursue a passport so I have a federal id going forward and I'll just stop interacting with Texas specific systems.
@shiri Yeah, I'd heard this news from Texas, and worried about all the people this will harm. I'm really sorry for all the problems this has caused for you.
my "electric field is within state limits, alternative crossing at fernbrook lake" t-shirt is prompting a lot of questions already answered by my t-shirt
@pluralistic I try to avoid crossing the Whitnall Highway power lines in North Hollywood in winter, otherwise my bike will very helpfully try to ground me every few seconds
@BudsofStone If you want to stick with Mastodon I strongly recommend lgbtqia.space great admin ( @🌸🇪🇺 Dreamy Mia 🏳️⚧️🌸 ), plus (last time I checked) a raised character limit.
At ER with a POTS flare - heart rate is 180 at triage.
Nurse: “Are you fighting with your boyfriend sweetie?”
Me (somewhat indignant) “I don’t have a boyfriend. I have POTS.”
Doctor: “Single? At your age? How come? You don’t want to be married?”
This is misogyny in medicine. I had a cardiac issue which is clearly documented in my chart/medical history.
I showed up alone - having been brought in by paramedics after fainting from low blood pressure and high heart rate.
There was absolutely no reason to make it about my marital status, boyfriend or lack thereof.
Can you imagine if a man showed up at the ER after passing out and his heart rate was 180? Do you think for a second they would ask if he was fighting with his girlfriend?
It’s a rhetorical question - since studies have shown that men are treated faster and more seriously in healthcare settings.
POTS is particularly challenging because it can make a patient appear anxious. It causes high heart rate, shortness of breath, sweating and dizziness. It’s all too easy for healthcare workers to see those symptoms and psychologize the patient.
That was my reality for YEARS. Going to the ER because I had passed out somewhere - and being treated as though I was simply hysterical. Given IV fluids to placate me but never referred to cardiology and properly worked up.
Even once I finally received a diagnosis (more than a decade later) I would continue to encounter hurdles like the one described above.
We must do better. Patients deserve to have their issues taken seriously and their health protected. If you don’t know what’s wrong - admit it. Refer them to someone else. Don’t slap an “anxiety” label on them and send them on their way.
The amount of times I was either gaslit, misdiagnosed or mistreated in healthcare settings is a huge part of why I decided to start advocating. I want to raise awareness about the conditions I have so that patients might better recognize the symptoms within themselves.
I also want to try and change the culture of medicine. The default should be to believe patients. To protect them. To wear a mask around them during an airborne pandemic. It should NOT be to pry into their personal life, psychologize and dismiss them.
Now that I know and understand what’s wrong - I live my life upside down! Almost all my writing is done horizontally and/or with my legs up the wall - because it’s the only way I get enough blood flow to my brain.
POTS can be incredibly debilitating - but there is hope. Treatments and lifestyle modifications CAN help.
I’ve just finished part one of a three part guide into all things POTS/Dysautonomia. It’s my hope these articles will help patients lean into their condition, adapt and accommodate it so that they will suffer less than I did.
I live my life horizontally thanks to a condition called POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). It's poorly understood, often misdiagnosed and can be devastating to quality of life.
☭ ☭ ☭ ATTENTION COMRADES ☭ ☭ ☭ wokeness will be EQUALLY DISTRIBUTED please form an orderly queueb to receive your government-mandated CRITICAL RACE THEORY violators will be sent to PRONOUN GULAG
i don't care if the doll uses it/its pronouns, or says it's a traumaqueer. you gotta ask it for its boundaries before just assuming it's another one of your playthings. this applies to everyone not just dolls, like genuinely don't just go up to someone you don't know on fedi and just assume they're going to want to interact with you in that way. i don't even fucking do that and i have people i tease on fedi here and there (mostly on my lewd accounts) we consented, we respect each other's boundaries.
people should not be having to explicitly state "do not interact with me lewdly" it should be implied that unless stated otherwise you don't just run up to someone and make lewd jokes towards them, you don't flirt with them, you don't send unsolicited pictures of yourself etc. cmon.
❤
𝕂, the Something Robot🎄🐴
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