Love this video. The conversations of autistic people are usually values based, not identity based. Working out who we are in relationship to each other via Phatic language and small talk isn’t something we naturally do or enjoy. We just want to cut to the chase and talk about the stuff we’re really interested in. I can have a fascinating conversation with someone I’ve just met and come away knowing very little about them as a person, except the stuff that really matters to me, their interests & values. It’s not that I don’t care about them as a person, and if I get to know them better, I will develop an interest in the things that are currently key factors in their life - their health, relationships, work etc.

I remember a pop-psychology based sermon in church one time about a simplistic binary notion of people as focussed on people or tasks. I’m a people person. I’m highly empathetic and like helping people. But if I can also be very focussed on the task at hand and if it’s not apparent to me (& I’m pretty observant) that someone is upset in some way, I’ll often focus on the task and skip phatic language & small talk.

Thanks to @shiri for the clip.

#actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic

youtu.be/eGnH0KAXhCw

Why “No Problem” Can Seem Rude: Phatic Expressions

"Hello!" "Thank you!" "You're welcome!" These are all phatic expressions, and people can argue about them. Pull down the description for the references! MORE...

^YouTube