I get it, but this is exactly why we are using the hashtag ActuallyAutistic instead of Autistic, since it's already used by every kind of conversation. There's a need for a separate hashtag for autistic people to reach their community. Please don't take that up as well. @actuallyautistic
I am not Autistic but I do have Autistic friends and family so one) you don’t get to tell people which hashtags they can use if they’re not using them disrespectfully. two) I am interested in minutia detail on a transportation topic if I can’t ask an Autistic person I will never get the kind of detail I am looking for from a neurotypical person.
I'm not telling you what to do. I'm asking you for basic decency. That's it. There's no insinuation there. If you still insist you deserve to be heard in the spaces for autistic people, that'll be your own judgement. ✌🏾 @actuallyautistic
Neither was created to "avoid" posts from non-autists, because it's just a slogan calling out people speaking for us without being one of us. The hashtag and group are just trends we've gathered around that are good places to reach our community, either as a member or as someone who's looking to ask actual autistics for input.
Trying to run off @LA Legault ✌🏻 for asking a genuine and serious question, one in which acknowledges us for who we are (often hyper-interested experts who are chomping at the bit for someone to ask us to info dump about a favorite topic) is more than assinine, it's actively fighting efforts for us to get genuine acceptance in society.
If you want to not be an ass about it just chime in with a "Hey, can you add #AskingAutistics, we're hoping to get more activity on that tag for this purpose instead of this one to separate out these kinds of questions" or "some of us don't want to see questions not directly relating to the autistic experience and that'll help us filter this out"
My understanding of the history of the ActuallyAutistic hashtag is that it is, in fact, intended to be a space only for Autistic people, exclusive of Allistic (non-Autistic) people, to discuss and share our experiences and to support each other.
Contrast this with, for example, # Autism or # AskingAutistics or pretty much any other hashtag with the word Autism or Autistic in it.
ActuallyAutistic has a very specific meaning and history behind it.
@Dave the Nomad 🇨🇦🇮🇹 @Gaveen Prabhasara @LA Legault ✌🏻 @Fish Id Wardrobe that's the fun thing about community... none of us is individually the authority on these things, it's a matter of consensus, not original intent. Even moreso on a public ActivityPub space, if you want a private space there are options for that.
I remember the #ActuallyAutistic tag coming into existence... it wasn't a "space" at all, it was just originally us just speaking out against those who would speak over us. Over time it became a differentiator of referencing us vs the people who would speak over us (ie. #autism in older spaces... <cough>twitter<cough> is flooded with non-autistics speaking on our behalf while #ActuallyAutistic is where you find us).
After a while, it started getting used in group names to differentiate us as being autistic led spaces, but not necessarily autistic private spaces.
@shiri I guess the other fun thing about community is that we all interpret communication differently. @gaveen I didn't see Gaveen trying to run anyone off. @LALegault @fishidwardrobe @dave
In my experience, in my corner of the Fediverse, the consensus has always been what others have said in this thread - that it's an exclusive space, and that there's literally every other hashtag available for other uses.
@shiri @fishidwardrobe no one is speaking for all autistic people. That includes both you and I. If you somehow manage to deduce the intention by the original post, congratulations. I didn't. Looking for clues, I saw her posts with jokes and sarcasm about a topic, which was later directed at autistic 'experts' to explain. Then I tried to explain the relevant hashtags. If that's insulting and needing to screw off, I don't need to engage further. More context: https://hachyderm.io/@gaveen/112507224443372355
She was asking ActuallyAutistic to explain something relevant to her political discourse. She later said it was serious and not making fun of special interests. In good faith, I can believe so.
I didn't understand why she was tagging ActuallyAutistic. So, I explained how this hashtag was used by autistic people to find their community. I take it that she feels insulted by this and things spiraled out.
@Gaveen Prabhasara honestly the bulk of your responses were fine, you're biggest case of stepping in it was the phrase "asking for basic decency" as @LA Legault ✌🏻 put it implied they were not being decent.
Then @Fish Id Wardrobe and hard escalated and you got roped in with that.
I apologize, I wouldn't have been as harsh if it had just been your responses especially as you ended on "use your own judgement" (honestly, probably wouldn't have said anything at all at that point), so it was unfair of me to position you as a problem there.
You're right that there's no rule about who can use which hashtag, but some hashtags have a broadly understood meaning, and using them differently means you're likely to be misunderstood.
So it's helpful to know how a community that uses that # usually understands its meaning.
#ActuallyAutistic means "I'm actually autistic, either self or formally diagnosed, and I'm writing about my own experience in that context". It's a hashtag with a very specific history and context.
If you're not autistic, you're less likely to get derailing comments by people asking whether you're autistic and challenging you etc, if you use # AskingAutistics or other related hashtags.
@shiri @yourautisticlife @Zumbador @deirdrebeth @gaveen I have deleted the original post and I don’t want to engage anymore on this or with this community who has spent the entire reply time lecturing me about what was a compliment, thank you
So the numbers of the tag that would be more appropriate aren't good enough for you? @gaveen Gaveen kindly explained why using the # actually autistic tag is a problem.
To me, one autistic person, your resistance reads as entitlement. @actuallyautistic
Gaveen insulted me several times, did not acknowledge my original post was in fact, not insulting, and then went on a righteous tirade. I will never use the hashtag again. Happy?
Your original post was not intended to be insulting. I personally gave you the benefit of the doubt, but I can also see how it can be over the line for other autistic people who've had to deal with having our special interests and tendency to info dump used as a way to ridicule us.
It's a bit like a cis man posting a joke about women. It might be meant well, and even accurate, but it's not up to him to tell women whether or not they're allowed to take offence.
Many of us have been telling people to just ask autistics if you want an info dump on a topic... and people here are setting back those efforts like self-entitled brats.
@shiri @Zumbador @melanie @gaveen that’s what I thought but apparently it was just an occasion to attack me and I am done. Thank you for recognizing my original intention.
Can you show me where you've been insulted by Gaveen several times? I've read all the post that are still available and can't find the ones insulting you.
I can't see the offending posts in this thread, and I suspect it's because some blocking happened in a previous situation where problematic remarks were called out and @LALegault doubled down instead of heeding the objections. Not a good pattern.
I don't see their posts either. If I click on their name, their profile page does not resolve.
I haven't blocked them or the domain (and newsie.social doesn't seem to be blocked at instance level). So I suspect that the individual account is blocked due to previous issues.
I would politely suggest to anyone who can see the posts that they simply ignore or block.
She was asking ActuallyAutistic to explain something relevant to her political discourse. She later said it was serious and not making fun of special interests. In good faith, I can believe so.
I didn't understand why she was tagging ActuallyAutistic. So, I explained how this hashtag was used by autistic people to find their community. I take it that she feels insulted by this and things spiraled out.
@LA Legault ✌🏻 I'm hoping you actually get some productive answers at some point... and on behalf of my fellow autistics (whether they like it or not), sorry for the reception you've gotten.
I personally do encourage you to block/mute the people rudely giving you shit and to continue to post such questions. Though I do encourage also adding # AskingAutistics at the same time. (And for those who don't want to see these kinds of questions to block the whole AskingAutistics hastag so you won't see them)
Gaveen Prabhasara
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •if you are actually autistic and wants to ask other autistic people, #ActuallyAutistic is the right hashtag.
If you are not autistic and still want to ask autistic people, #AskingAutistics is something you can use.
If you are neither, and only want to use autistic people as a stereotypical punchline in a joke, you can actually not-do that.
@actuallyautistic
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LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide.
in reply to Gaveen Prabhasara • • •@gaveen @actuallyautistic
# ActuallyAutistic is a hashtag people actually use, AskingAutistics is not— of course it is not a joke.
Shiri Bailem likes this.
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Gaveen Prabhasara
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •@actuallyautistic
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LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide.
in reply to Gaveen Prabhasara • • •@gaveen @actuallyautistic
I am not Autistic but I do have Autistic friends and family so
one) you don’t get to tell people which hashtags they can use if they’re not using them disrespectfully.
two) I am interested in minutia detail on a transportation topic if I can’t ask an Autistic person I will never get the kind of detail I am looking for from a neurotypical person.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide.
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •@gaveen @actuallyautistic
I’m not insulting you/Autistic people, I promise 😊. I am deferring to you as experts.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Gaveen Prabhasara
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide.
in reply to Gaveen Prabhasara • • •@gaveen @actuallyautistic
There is insinuation that it is not “decent” to ask Autistic people for help or information, isn’t that ableist?
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Fish Id Wardrobe
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Shiri Bailem
in reply to Fish Id Wardrobe • •@Fish Id Wardrobe @Gaveen Prabhasara From a fellow autist... screw off. #ActuallyAutistic and @ActuallyAutistic group are not "private spaces" free from non-autists.
Neither was created to "avoid" posts from non-autists, because it's just a slogan calling out people speaking for us without being one of us. The hashtag and group are just trends we've gathered around that are good places to reach our community, either as a member or as someone who's looking to ask actual autistics for input.
Trying to run off @LA Legault ✌🏻 for asking a genuine and serious question, one in which acknowledges us for who we are (often hyper-interested experts who are chomping at the bit for someone to ask us to info dump about a favorite topic) is more than assinine, it's actively fighting efforts for us to get genuine acceptance in society.
If you want to not be an ass about it just chime in with a "Hey, can you add #AskingAutistics, we're hoping to get more activity on that tag for this purpose instead of this one to separate out these kinds of questions" or "some of us don't want to see questions not directly relating to the autistic experience and that'll help us filter this out"
like this
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Dave the Nomad 🇨🇦
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •@shiri
My understanding of the history of the ActuallyAutistic hashtag is that it is, in fact, intended to be a space only for Autistic people, exclusive of Allistic (non-Autistic) people, to discuss and share our experiences and to support each other.
Contrast this with, for example, # Autism or # AskingAutistics or pretty much any other hashtag with the word Autism or Autistic in it.
ActuallyAutistic has a very specific meaning and history behind it.
@actuallyautistic @gaveen @LALegault @fishidwardrobe
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Shiri Bailem
in reply to Dave the Nomad 🇨🇦 • •@Dave the Nomad 🇨🇦🇮🇹 @Gaveen Prabhasara @LA Legault ✌🏻 @Fish Id Wardrobe that's the fun thing about community... none of us is individually the authority on these things, it's a matter of consensus, not original intent. Even moreso on a public ActivityPub space, if you want a private space there are options for that.
I remember the #ActuallyAutistic tag coming into existence... it wasn't a "space" at all, it was just originally us just speaking out against those who would speak over us. Over time it became a differentiator of referencing us vs the people who would speak over us (ie. #autism in older spaces... <cough>twitter<cough> is flooded with non-autistics speaking on our behalf while #ActuallyAutistic is where you find us).
After a while, it started getting used in group names to differentiate us as being autistic led spaces, but not necessarily autistic private spaces.
like this
Dave the Nomad 🇨🇦 and Kevin Davy like this.
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slow learner, deep feeler
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •I guess the other fun thing about community is that we all interpret communication differently.
@gaveen
I didn't see Gaveen trying to run anyone off.
@LALegault @fishidwardrobe @dave
Dave the Nomad 🇨🇦
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •@shiri Agreed. There's no authority here.
In my experience, in my corner of the Fediverse, the consensus has always been what others have said in this thread - that it's an exclusive space, and that there's literally every other hashtag available for other uses.
@gaveen @LALegault @fishidwardrobe
Gaveen Prabhasara
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •@shiri @fishidwardrobe no one is speaking for all autistic people. That includes both you and I. If you somehow manage to deduce the intention by the original post, congratulations. I didn't. Looking for clues, I saw her posts with jokes and sarcasm about a topic, which was later directed at autistic 'experts' to explain. Then I tried to explain the relevant hashtags. If that's insulting and needing to screw off, I don't need to engage further. More context:
https://hachyderm.io/@gaveen/112507224443372355
Gaveen Prabhasara
2024-05-26 11:46:45
Shiri Bailem
in reply to Gaveen Prabhasara • •@Gaveen Prabhasara honestly the bulk of your responses were fine, you're biggest case of stepping in it was the phrase "asking for basic decency" as @LA Legault ✌🏻 put it implied they were not being decent.
Then @Fish Id Wardrobe and hard escalated and you got roped in with that.
I apologize, I wouldn't have been as harsh if it had just been your responses especially as you ended on "use your own judgement" (honestly, probably wouldn't have said anything at all at that point), so it was unfair of me to position you as a problem there.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Zumbador
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •@gaveen @actuallyautistic
Just to butt in, # AskingAutistics is very much a hashtag that's in use. Just to clarify that point!
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DB Schwein
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •@gaveen @actuallyautistic
AskingAutistics isn't a hashtag people use?
This is just the last week!
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide.
in reply to DB Schwein • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Zumbador
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •@deirdrebeth @gaveen @actuallyautistic
You're right that there's no rule about who can use which hashtag, but some hashtags have a broadly understood meaning, and using them differently means you're likely to be misunderstood.
So it's helpful to know how a community that uses that # usually understands its meaning.
#ActuallyAutistic means "I'm actually autistic, either self or formally diagnosed, and I'm writing about my own experience in that context". It's a hashtag with a very specific history and context.
If you're not autistic, you're less likely to get derailing comments by people asking whether you're autistic and challenging you etc, if you use # AskingAutistics or other related hashtags.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Your Autistic Life
in reply to Zumbador • • •@Zumbador
There is no rule, but people who don't heed our warnings may end up muted or blocked.
I've done it before.
I reserve it for repeat offenders.
@LALegault @deirdrebeth @gaveen @actuallyautistic
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LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide.
in reply to Your Autistic Life • • •@yourautisticlife @Zumbador @deirdrebeth @gaveen @actuallyautistic
Be my guest, I am so tired of being policed on mastodon
Shiri Bailem likes this.
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Shiri Bailem
in reply to Your Autistic Life • •@Your Autistic Life This isn't an airport, you don't have to announce your departures.
🙄
@Zumbador @DB Schwein @Gaveen Prabhasara @LA Legault ✌🏻
DB Schwein likes this.
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LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide.
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •Shiri Bailem likes this.
slow learner, deep feeler
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •So the numbers of the tag that would be more appropriate aren't good enough for you?
@gaveen
Gaveen kindly explained why using the # actually autistic tag is a problem.
To me, one autistic person, your resistance reads as entitlement.
@actuallyautistic
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide.
in reply to slow learner, deep feeler • • •@melanie @gaveen @actuallyautistic
Gaveen insulted me several times, did not acknowledge my original post was in fact, not insulting, and then went on a righteous tirade. I will never use the hashtag again. Happy?
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Zumbador
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •Your original post was not intended to be insulting. I personally gave you the benefit of the doubt, but I can also see how it can be over the line for other autistic people who've had to deal with having our special interests and tendency to info dump used as a way to ridicule us.
It's a bit like a cis man posting a joke about women. It might be meant well, and even accurate, but it's not up to him to tell women whether or not they're allowed to take offence.
@melanie @gaveen
Shiri Bailem
in reply to Zumbador • •@Zumbador @slow learner, deep feeler @Gaveen Prabhasara @LA Legault ✌🏻 Except this isn't a a joke about us, it's actively taking us up on an invite many of us have been putting out there for ages now.
Many of us have been telling people to just ask autistics if you want an info dump on a topic... and people here are setting back those efforts like self-entitled brats.
LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. likes this.
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LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide.
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •hauch
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •Can you show me where you've been insulted by Gaveen several times?
I've read all the post that are still available and can't find the ones insulting you.
@melanie @gaveen @actuallyautistic
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
violetmadder
in reply to slow learner, deep feeler • • •@melanie @gaveen @actuallyautistic
I can't see the offending posts in this thread, and I suspect it's because some blocking happened in a previous situation where problematic remarks were called out and @LALegault doubled down instead of heeding the objections. Not a good pattern.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Nick G
in reply to violetmadder • • •I don't see their posts either. If I click on their name, their profile page does not resolve.
I haven't blocked them or the domain (and newsie.social doesn't seem to be blocked at instance level). So I suspect that the individual account is blocked due to previous issues.
I would politely suggest to anyone who can see the posts that they simply ignore or block.
@melanie @gaveen @actuallyautistic
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Gaveen Prabhasara
in reply to Nick G • • •@ratcatcher @violetmadder @melanie to be fair to her, calling out her was never my intention.
She was asking ActuallyAutistic to explain something relevant to her political discourse. She later said it was serious and not making fun of special interests. In good faith, I can believe so.
I didn't understand why she was tagging ActuallyAutistic. So, I explained how this hashtag was used by autistic people to find their community. I take it that she feels insulted by this and things spiraled out.
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Shiri Bailem
in reply to LA Legault 🛑 doing genocide. • •@LA Legault ✌🏻 I'm hoping you actually get some productive answers at some point... and on behalf of my fellow autistics (whether they like it or not), sorry for the reception you've gotten.
I personally do encourage you to block/mute the people rudely giving you shit and to continue to post such questions. Though I do encourage also adding # AskingAutistics at the same time. (And for those who don't want to see these kinds of questions to block the whole AskingAutistics hastag so you won't see them)
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