Reading wikipedia on autism for Reasons (tm).
I don't get it. Why is it so important that we don't stim? Like, there are some that are contextually inappropriate (loud noises when it might disturb others, for instance), but outside of those few things ... what's the problem with hand flapping, body wiggling, hair twirling, vocalizing in repetitive ways when it's not distracting/disturbing, etc, etc, etc?
Bah, humbug >.< @actuallyautistic
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Kevin Davy
in reply to Antonius Marie ⚧ • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
nellie-m
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •@pathfinder
I think small talk is an NT stim. It makes them feel better. Alleviates their unease. Social contact like that boosts their brain opioids - they’re basically what makes us feel loved / loving.
Weather talk (or what the Buddha called „well gossip“) is meaningless to us; maybe because our brain opioid levels don’t go down when we’re alone.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
ScottinSoCal 🇺🇦 🕊 🏳🌈
in reply to Antonius Marie ⚧ • • •People who aren't ND find it distracting or annoying. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me kid-me to stop fidgeting / squirming / clicking / tapping / popping my lips / rubbing my pants leg / whatever , I could buy an island and retire to it.
@actuallyautistic
Amata :verified_genderqueer:
in reply to Antonius Marie ⚧ • • •Content warning: Selfharm
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Robbert van Eijndhoven
in reply to Antonius Marie ⚧ • • •It is, generally, a Neurotypical parent thing.
Their autistic child stimming is a noticeable reminder to them that the child they have is not the child they wanted and, because they are self-absorbed and wallowing in self pity, they believe that the whole world will judge their child for stimming as harshly as they do.
Yet the reality is that most people, including NTs, don't mind most forms of autistic stimming at all.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Inken Paper
in reply to Antonius Marie ⚧ • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
violetmadder
in reply to Inken Paper • • •@crashglasshouses
Well, and the influence of people like this...
My grandparents and great grandparents scarcely touched their children. Posture and proper sitting and so on-- even just a lingering whiff of that culture is chilling and far more widespread than a lot of people may realize.
https://youtu.be/B_3lW1Zrekg
Part One: The Parenting Gurus of Nazi Germany | BEHIND THE BASTARDS
YouTubeActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Inken Paper
in reply to violetmadder • • •@violetmadder
my parents often claimed, in my childhood, that they didn't know how to parent cause "there's no manual included", but i've often wondered "you had a childhood too, so what the fuck? did you learn nothing??"
i wonder how much of this is what was going on :P
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
violetmadder
in reply to Inken Paper • • •@crashglasshouses
Ohhh there have been manuals. Horrible, very bad, terrifying manuals.
And I mean, we don't live communally with extended family that's supposed to fill in those blanks like daily.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
molly in missouri
in reply to violetmadder • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Inken Paper
in reply to violetmadder • • •i'm aware that "manuals" exist, but that's not what they meant. it's more like they were saying they have no idea what they're doing, as if there were no examples to follow. it was also the 80s, when there wasn't a lot of talk of respecting children as people instead of as objects and property, so there wasn't a lot of help in that regard either. just those reactionary, homophobic "manuals".
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
ScottinSoCal 🇺🇦 🕊 🏳🌈
in reply to Inken Paper • • •@crashglasshouses
It's possible they were trying to avoid the mistakes their parents made, so they were in uncharted territory.
I know when I was looking at becoming a parent, one of the most important things to me was not to re-create the abuse my parents created.
@violetmadder @melindrea @actuallyautistic
Inken Paper
in reply to ScottinSoCal 🇺🇦 🕊 🏳🌈 • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
𝙵𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚑 :v_bi:
in reply to Antonius Marie ⚧ • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Wayne Werner
in reply to 𝙵𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚑 :v_bi: • • •@farah probably because we have a very strong sense of social justice that makes us incompatible with peaceful "society", thus ND traits are seen as dangerous/uncomfortable.
NT folks will really just hide their head in the sand rather than confront abuse and injustice, if they can hide it instead.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
𝔑ℭ𝔎𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱
in reply to Antonius Marie ⚧ • • •I’ve wondered this too. At least among my family, my parents tried to get me to stop doing certain “stims” in public when I was little because they felt it embarrassed both me and them, and made them look like bad parents and made me look like a mentally ill weirdo.
Other than that idk the reasons some people say NOT to do it.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
𝔑ℭ𝔎𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱
in reply to 𝔑ℭ𝔎𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Shiri Bailem
in reply to Antonius Marie ⚧ • •@Antonius Marie ⚧ fundamentally because it makes us obviously different and anything different is seen as bad.
Allistic identities tend to be rooted in their associations and groups, so they prize homogeneity: different is bad, same is good.
Our identities on the other hand are usually based in values... different doesn't matter so much, only what values that person shows.
like this
Kevin Davy, Perfidia, the Amygdalai Lama, UnCoveredMyths, Moz, autistic aurochs, Tortibeatitude 🖤🧡🤍, Samantha :gi:, Mux2000 (non-avian), Quinze Plush, Amanda D and Bernie Independently Does It like this.
reshared this
ActuallyAutistic group, Kevin Davy and Quinze Plush reshared this.
the Amygdalai Lama
in reply to Shiri Bailem • • •.
I feel bad, I'm always the one with the bad news. It's because when THEY meltdown, somebody gets hurt, so it's what they "know" is coming.